Vine could have been the best thing to happen to society.
I lived through its glorious time alive alongside Penis Parker, meaning like every sane person our age, we could quote the shit out of it.
Even if I confused the senior citizens.
"Surprise bitch!" Peter yelled as I turned the corner.
"Ahh stop, you almost made me drop my croissant!" I quoted, making him burst out laughing, while confusing the others present.
"But, she does not have a croissant?! Where is the croissant!" Bucky whispered yelled to Sam, a truly cultured man that understood what we were in about.
"It's okay Buck, it's okay.." He sarcastically comforted, laughing on the inside.
I mean it happened all the time, like all the time.
"Peter, catch this.." I yelled out, throwing him a closed bag of chips.
"Hurricane Katrina? More like hurricane tortilla!" He yelled out, get again confusing.
"Hurricane?! We need to get into a safe area! Does everyone remember their hurricane information from the information package I gave you all!" Steve yelled out, purely convinced there was a hurricane headed our way.
Eventually, we realize that old men are dumb. So very dumb. They must go to school, my school. Culture class.
"After a painfully long hurricane drill that Steve forced us into because he's dumb and old, I decided to gather you all once more for a lesson on being cultured. Today we shall be watching several vine compilations. This is to boost communication effectiveness and prepare you all for the real world.." I announced to my class, setting the video play.
In my crowd of eager participants, we had Steve, the idiot, Bucky, the idiot, Thor, the himbo, Pietro, Wanda and Loki, who all wanted to watch vines and lastly Nat, the queen.
We sat for hours, watching and reciting, informing the old souls that theirs more to life than being well, old.
We covered it all, from 'an avocado, thanks!' to 'road work ahead, I sure hope it does!'. I trained them on the legacy of Ms Kiesha, it's Wednesday my dudes and who the roommates were.
Now I can dub them as well, cultured. My babies have left the nest and we're prepared for the real world.
"Thor, it said to be here at 6, not 8!" Tony yelled, an apparently important meeting with Steve being interrupted.
"Huh well, I guess I'm Jared who's 18 and never fucking learned how to read!" He hissed back.
Yeah never mind, my work will never be done.
Y'all what the actual fuck, 1 million reads?! like just as this book comes to its end you pull this like wow wow wow. I announced my conversation section about book 2 and for 1 million read I dropped a clue. follow me if u want them updates.
But seriously thank you so much, I adore everyone and thank you for the votes and comments you give me each day. stay bitchy and beautiful you amazing human beings.
- Jamie <3
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