One Decision

41. Suffocating World

Athena

My heart ached, my ears pounded.

This wasn't right. What is he doing?

I stared at the papers again. Surely I wasn't misreading the big-ass calligraphy written Divorce Agreement?

Tears spilled out my eyes as I tried to get a hold of myself. My hands shook terribly as I held the paper in my clutch.

After everything I did for him, how could he...?

What was I going to do? How will I tell this to my parents? What about the whole fucking world, they thought we were crazily in love.

I can't think.

I shakily rose up from the ground, the papers still clasped tightly in my hands. My legs gave away by the time I reached our bedroom.

Sorry, his bedroom.

I pressed my lips together to not cry, stumbling towards the bed before giving up the little energy I possessed.

My tears soaked the bedsheets, only they heard my sobs and silent beggings. After crying for about an hour I turned around to stare at the ceiling blankly.

My mind subconsciously started revisiting the memories. Our funny wedding, the fake but sensual honeymoon, me annoying him in every single way possible to try and get him out that shell of his.

I understood by now it was not just a shell. It was just a fucking large and high wall. How come he doesn't trust me after almost 8 months of us living together?

I hope I at least made a dent.

Clear your head. Please clear your head. 

...I didn't agree to the divorce yet. Why is he doing this? Is he being forced or something? I swear to God even today morning he seemed fine- -

No, he wasn't.

My mind evaded my other thoughts with the two words.

....he wasn't. He planned it, that's why he was moody for a few days now. He kept saying he had a surprise for me. He told me it was postponed to today so he could just...fuck me?

No.

My eyes stung again. My chest ached by how hard I was trying to breathe down the mounting sobs. He was just using me? I was so emotionally naked in front of him and he just used me for my body?

I glanced at the papers which were still in my hand. For a bizarre moment, I thought about signing and leaving this miserable life behind.

Hold on. Breathe. If I do this then I won't be able to come back, ever.

My mind pushed past the grief and sorrow, giving me a clear message of what I should do.

No phone calls. No texts. This is all about face-to-face talking. Let him say to my face that he doesn't want me. Then I will sign the shit.

I slithered down from the bed to the floor numbly, staring out the moonlit sky as I crossed my legs, rocking my body back and forth.

I will wait. I will always wait for him.

I did, but he never came. I woke up with the sunlight over my head, my back aching since I spend the whole night lying down on the cold hard floor.

Another round of fresh tears swarmed into my eyes seeing the empty room, realizing he didn't come home and might be in his penthouse.

Fine.

"Fine!" I shouted at myself, quickly getting up to use the bathroom.

If he doesn't come, I will go. I am the one who needs answers anyway. I am the only one who fucking cares, I could have easily strode out of the mansions if I didn't care.