Proposal ; beomgyu (completed)

viii.

2023.
22 years

"Auntie!", the kids giggled after a while of tickling them.

"I thought you said you'd missed me", she stated with a big pout on her lips.

"We did", Woobin said but then looked towards his sister who was still trying to catch her breath from laughing.

"I did too!"

"Good", she kissed their foreheads and then turned the lights off. "Have a good night, okay? I will see you tomorrow morning", the kids mumbled 'I love you's' and she smiled before making sure the door was ajar and then walked down the hallway.

Yeonjun and Soobin had stated they had some business down in the wine cellar –which Junoh know was completely made up and they either wanted to smash lips or give her and Beomgyu some privacy–, so now it was just her and her ex best friend.

"Well, seems like we will have to talk now", she took a seat in the one-body couch to the side of the couch Beomgyu was sitting on.

"Yeah, it sure seems like it", he replied. That somehow made her feel uneasy, why was he not smiling at her?

"I have missed you", she mumbled and he huffed.

That made her eyes shot straight to his face, a pained smile on his lips and a sad glint on his eyes. He looked as if he didn't believe her, and she didn't blame him. She'd surely made it look like she didn't want anything to do with him anymore the second she stopped pursuing him.

"Are you sure about that?", his voice was now low and raspy, and Junoh had to find it deep in herself not to let her inner child reach up to her best friend and caress his cheeks and kiss them so he would feel okay again.

"Yes", she didn't break eye contact. She wanted Beomgyu to look into her eyes and to realize she was being truthful.

"Could've slipped my mind", he stated, his eyes never leaving hers either. "Not that you made it known in this whole time".

"I am sorry", she mumbled and grabbed a grape from the fruit bowl Soobin had gently placed on the coffee table before leaving with Yeonjun.

"Yeah well, I bet Zayn is sorry he left One Direction but that doesn't make it better, does it?", he popped a grape in his mouth too.

"Beomgyu...", she sighed.

She didn't want to fight.

"Junoh", the man got up from the couch, the motion making her get up too and start walking behind him as his pace was fast and determined.

"Beomgyu, please", she called out, reaching for his hand. He stopped right on his tracks, the warm feeling of his skin against hers making her chest swirl with love. "I just need you back. I didn't want to leave you but I had to, I needed to".

"And what about me? Huh, Junoh?", he turned around his eyes holding tears. "What about me? I needed you. I needed all of you and you just– and you just left me", the last part was murmured when realizing his voice had gone up a few notches.

"Beomgyu, I...", she sighed. "I'm sorry".

"I know you are", he stated and slid his hand off her embrace. "I can see it in your eyes, but..."

"But I hurt you too much", she mumbled.

He nodded, his eyes now looking everywhere but her. She sighed, her lip wobbling and her eyes feeling with tears to the brim.

"Okay, go", her voice cracked. "Please".

She'd never felt this way, but now she didn't want to break in front of him. Junoh didn't want him to see her suffer, even when she deserved this for leaving him behind.

"Bye", the male nodded towards her and she felt so empty once he'd gotten into his car and drove away.

"Bye", was all she could say before falling on her knees and sobs escaping her lips.

She cried there, alone, at the entrance of the house she had designed, feeling more empty than ever and blaming herself. Because there was no other person to put the guilt on. It was her, she'd broken her special bond with Beomgyu and she'd lost him altogether in the process.

"Oh no", Yeonjun took her inside, her cheeks filled with incoming tears, and walked her towards the master bedroom.

She climbed in, her eyes feeling heavy but still crying, and was embraced by her brother. She lay her face on his chest, and then she was hugged from behind by Soobin, them hugging her like they always had in the past, in an embrace that was so familiar and warm, and that could instantly make her feel better.

But why wasn't she feeling better now?

She cried herself to sleep that night, regretting ever saying the last words she'd said to Beomgyu, and leaving him like that. With a promise that was meant to be kept but was broken, and with a heart that was meant to be filled by him, but now was empty.

When she woke up, she was still engulfed in between two of the most important people in her life, and she cried again.

"Did I just abandon you?", she mumbled when Yeonjun caressed her hair and Soobin soother her back lovingly. "Was I just so self centered that I didn't stop to think about him? Was it okay that I left?"

"Junoh", Yeonjun took her cheeks into his hands, making her puffy eyes look right into his. "You were depressed. You were so down in that freaking hole you had been thinking of taking your life", his eyebrows scrunched at the mere memory. "You needed a reason to live, and that was why you left".

"But he needed me".

"You needed yourself more".