Proposal ; beomgyu (completed)

xx.

2018.
17 years.

"Just leave me alone", Junoh stated with her eyes and cheeks filled with tears, her bottom lip trembling and her gaze avoiding Beomgyu.

He was holding the door open, fighting against Junoh's hold to try to close it.

"Why?"

"I wanna be alone!", more tears spilled down her cheeks.

"But I don't want you to be alone!", he replied.

"Don't yell at me", her eyes turned big and she pouted.

"You're just exasperating", he rolled his eyes. "And I brought chocolate chips to make cookies", he mumbled while tearing his eyes away from hers.

"You did?", her lips curled upwards and he scoffed but nodded. "I still don't feel like having company", she sighed.

"You can't just hide forever", he mumbled.

"I don't wanna go outside".

"I know".

"My dad killed himself", she gulped.

"I know".

"My mom has cancer", she croaked and then sobbed.

"I know".

"I'm sad".

"I know", he took her hand in his and just held it. "I want to be here while you go through it. And I don't wanna wait outside while you tell me "you're working through it", I wanna be there helping you through it. Because I... I love you, Junoh".

"I love you too, you know", she let her head fall and looked at her shoes. She knew he meant it as friendship, but she had always meant it as something else. As her soul loved his soul, she had always meant it as Beomgyu being the love of her life.

"So will you let me in?", he looked into her eyes and her lip trembled a little but she nodded. "That's good".

He followed her inside. Junoh's mom was out at the doctors office with Yeonjun. Poor guy had to bury his dad and then, while trying to keep Junoh sane, had to take the adult responsibility to help his mother to the doctor.

He was not living with the both girls, since he had received the money from his dad's will and he had moved in with Soobin. But he still came every other day to check in on them both. It seemed that Junoh was succumbing to sadness and she wasn't good company for a woman who had started chemotherapy.

Beomgyu had started to go by their place the days he knew Yeonjun wasn't around. He always had loved Junoh's mom's company, and he would watch the latest episode of the Korean drama the woman was watching. Junoh would sit next to them, silently, looking at the screen but not really watching it.

His heart would sink. That night they had shared a couple of months ago was just a memory. The way his hands traced her skin, the way goosebumps rose wherever he touched. Her sighs, her closed eyes and daunting smile when she told him how good it felt.

But now it was just a blur. He didn't know if she ever thought about it, but he certainly did. He couldn't stop thinking about her kisses and the way it felt his lips were meant to fill her neck with hickeys and love bites.

But now, even if she had felt anything –which he didn't know– now was not the time to think about it. And maybe it never would be the right time to think about it. She needed him, and he would be there.

For her.

Forever.

"Cookies and a movie?", Beomgyu stated, following after Junoh.

"Sounds good", she shrugged.

"When did you last shower?"

"Cleanliness is for the losers", she replied. Beomgyu bit his lip, trying not to let a giggle slip through.

"Okay, then you will become a loser right now", he turned around to see her sitting on the floor, looking at him.

Junoh was a mess, inside and out. Her hair was in tangles and she was probably wearing the same clothes he had seen her in the last time he had come by –which was three days ago.

She sighed but complied. There was not a glint of mischief in her eyes, the snarky comment he had hoped to be replied with never came, and he couldn't stop his heart from breaking for her. Her suffering was so palpable that he wanted to take it all away, to make her feel better, he wanted to be the one to be in pain instead.

Junoh walked towards her room and came out in a towel, holding a pair of panties and a shirt Beomgyu had gifted her one time she slept over and didn't have pajamas.

"And some shorts".

"You've seen me naked, so why should I?"

"Decency", he replied. She rolled her eyes but complied, and then walked into the bathroom.

Beomgyu started mixing the ingredients, and preheating the oven. He walked towards the bathroom when he heard her turning the shower off.

"I will brush your hair, so condition it thoroughly, okay? Don't wanna hurt you".

"Okay", he heard lowly.

After the cookies went in, he heated some milk and sat her on the floor in front of the sofa. He turned the TV on, choosing whatever romcom he could find, and started detangling her knots. She didn't complain, and he made sure to put some oil in there, and afterwards he dried it.

She still sat there.

"Oh, the cookies are ready", he commented.

"With milk?", she looked back at him, with her big eyes and a very innocent look on her face.

"Sure, Jun", he smiled. She smiled too. Sort of. And his heart warmed up a little.

He brought her the cookies, earned himself a thumbs up, and then sat in silence next to her.

She laid her head on his shoulder and he took her fingers in his hands, interlocking their fingers together.

"I will always be here, okay? You will never lose me".