Dangerous Addiction M.R, T.N

Nine (edited)

We're happy, free, confused and lonely in the best way.

The anxiety I had when I woke up the following day was nothing close to what I had felt before. Theo, who slept beside me, had his arms around me as he left a kiss on top of my head. He had told me he loved me and didn't say it back, not that I don't feel something for him; it is just not fair, its not words I can even bring into my mouth right now. I like him so much, but it's not fair for me to love him in a situation like this this, not safe and I would be too selfish to love him. He was mine, and I was his, but in the end, it would mean a risk for his life and all in my hands. His family are death eaters, but the dark lord doesn't need him to be one. I meet his eyes as I turn to face him.

"Morning," his smile made my whole body take a turn. No matter how anxious I may be, just one simple smile can change everything.

"Morning," I kiss his cheek faintly. I know last night must have hurt him, even though he said it was fine. No one wants to hear their lover say they cant return the words. It hurts; no matter what he says, he cant change that fact.

"Theo, I-" he interrupts me with a kiss, and I melt into it, almost forgetting what I am about to say.

"It's fine, Rosie. I told you, I know what you are going through. Besides the only reason I said it is because you deserve to know. It's nothing new to me, I've loved you for twelve years." I hide my face in his chest as the rose shade replaces my cheeks. Was it really fine? Wouldn't this change something between us? Will he just forget what is happening and not be affected by all of this? What will happen in the long term?

"Wait- twelve?"

"Yeah, since I laid my eyes on you at that rich thing party back when we were four. I think I've always known it was going to be you for me Rosie. Nothing can change that." I smile.

"Did you think it was going to happen?" He looked like he was thinking about something, and I leaned onto my right arm, staring at him.

"Us or the death eater thing?" Yeah, Rosie, what were you actually thinking about? He plays with a string of my hair, and I smile faintly, trying to come up with how to continue this conversation.

"Both, I guess. Do you think he will want you?"

"I don't know Rosie. If he does, it wouldn't matter to me. It's the last thing I care about." He lifted my chin so our eyes would meet again, and the air felt much lighter. Just staring at him does that; it makes it all easier.

"Your life is so much more important to me. If something happened to you, I would lose everything." I wanted to cry. I don't think he knows what he is saying right now because being a death eater is something he should be worried about. I don't want anyone to risk their life for me; I can't let him do that. It's just not fair.

"I dont want you to go through this." I kissed his lips gently, and he smiled a little, holding me closer.

"Can I help you with anything?" I shake my head before he even says the last word; no matter how much I want to spend time with him, he can't get involved with this. I had already been warned and risked it by telling him about the task. I have to be more careful in the future.

"It's fine, Mattheo wouldn't let you." I feel his body freeze, and I immediately regret the words I picked. I didnt have to bring his name into this, even less his first name. But I did, and it was stupid. Knowing I must spend time with Riddle is not easy for him, and I must be careful with his feelings.

"We are just working, not talking, no touching, no friendly thing. I promise you that," he nods as I finish what I have to say, and he looks a bit more relieved, even though I know he is hiding his real feelings, his fear.