with love, always, michael clifford

his confession.

Casper: Can we talk?

Casper: I'll pick you up. We can grab snow cones and look at the beach.

Casper: Please?

Asteria: No. I can't. You can come over and sit on my bed while I pack.

Casper: Okay.

Asteria felt her nerves bubble up as she sat in her bedroom, watching Casper set down his camera equipment.

"What do you need, Casper?" Asteria choked out. Arms crossed. "You've been ignoring me for a week, and then you text me out of nowhere? Asking to talk?"

"I know," Casper mumbled.

"Are you absolutely mad?" Asteria let out an annoyed laugh, lugging her suitcase onto the bed before grabbing her packing cubes. "Because you sound mad."

"Let me explain before you start calling me mad. Are you freakin' British?" Casper said quite loudly, standing up and running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, okay? Let me explain."

"Fine." Asteria finally said. "Explain."

"When I kissed you, you have to know I'd been waiting to do that since we were children." Casper finally said. "I have wanted to kiss you for so fucking long."

Asteria's head snapped up. Wow, straight to the point.

Blinked. "What?"

"I have wanted to kiss you since I saw your goddamn star dress and with your star pins when we were kids. More so when I saw you at the dinner a few months ago — you in your goddamn formal attire. A fucking long dress that hugged you so beautifully, with blue flowers in your long hair."

"Casper—"

"I'm not done." Casper put a hand up.

He was standing now.

"I didn't know what to do with myself when I saw you. You looked so grown — mature and beautifully. I truly thought you couldn't get any more gorgeous, but there you were. 16 and perfect." Casper spoke. "You and your attitude — I couldn't get enough. I wanted to keep insulting me until my lips turned blue and I died. I would've been happy dying like that."

Asteria blinked. He continued.

"I didn't know what to do with myself. I thought about you for a week. And for fucks sake, my mom couldn't stop mentioning how grown you looked. And then I found you at your job by complete accident — and you looked perfect. In your syrup stained shirt, a hat that looked ridiculous, and your hair up in a messy bun. I swear I would've kissed you then."

Asteria's ears were ringing. Was this normal?

"When you recommended coconut, I started having coconut snow-cones anytime I got some in my hometown. When I sat down with my friends, one of them mentioned interest in you and my heart fell to my ass. I never felt such bad rage, Aster. 2 weeks went by, and I got your number from my mom. I stared at my phone for at least an hour."

Asteria let out a small laugh. Casper seemed closer now, but his chest was rising and falling fast. He was nervous.

"That's why I called so late. You make me nervous. Then, you showed up at my house a week later. You were wearing this god-awful sun dress, I mean it was beautiful, but it made me want to write at least 30 poems entailing your absolute beauty in that god forsaken dress. Your hair was down, and up, and your eyes popped. I was shaking the whole time I brought you to my bedroom."

Casper then thought back to the day he saw Asteria. He wanted to pass out on the spot.

"We had dinner and you went home, and I never felt so alone. It was so fucking weird. I hardly knew you, and you were invading my whole train." Casper inhaled. "Then, I showed up at your house with my parents and you were wearing the cutest pajamas. You looked so fucking cute. It was then I realized I wanted to see that every morning, for fucks sake. I saw your room and immediately loved it — it was so you."

He motioned the room around them, the one where he stood. Pouring out his feelings.

"I looked at your eyes and noticed stars lingered in them, without the night sky above. Then, you mentioned Henry and I never felt more jealous in my life. My friend saw Taylor Swift in concert, and I was more jealous of Henry than him. Fucking – then, our parents decided on a vacation. Oh my god, Asteria, I thought I was going to die."

"Die?" Asteria widened her eyes.

"I had to spend a week with you. I wanted you so bad, Asteria, you don't know." Casper's voice quivered. "And then, I spent a good long time in your car with you. Watching you drive might've killed me. I got to pay for your meal, and I was giddy inside. For the longest time. You make me giddy, Asteria Marie. When you mentioned going home, looking so tired, I wanted to hold you. Then, I fucking slept in your bed."

Asteria felt like the wall was closing in on her.

"I left that morning because If I didn't, I was going to kiss you when you woke up. Then, I brought Justine with me to the snow-cone shop because I was trying so hard to not like you. She was such a bitch and I should've seen it sooner. Fuck her."

"The vacation might've been the best and worst thing in my life. When you told me your necklace broke, I did not hesitate to buy a new one."

His fingers found the star necklace that dangled around her neck, and gently pulled at the star to get a look at it. A feel.

"It's my favorite necklace." Asteria whispered.

Casper swallowed. "I know."

"Anywho, I could tell something was bothering you but I knew you hated me. I did not want to overstep any boundary. I took you to the aquarium because I knew you loved sea animals. It made you happy. I even got a few photos for you," Casper said. "I found you in that pool looking beautiful. Vacation ended too fucking fast."

Here Casper was, explaining his love for Asteria. While she'd been ignoring the feelings she had for him. It was insane how he was thinking this the whole goddamn time.

"I wanted to see you at work that day so bad. I wanted to talk to you. Justine tagged along when I said I wanted to go along, but before I could even talk, she dragged me away. I was so pissed."

Asteria inhaled sharply. Justine was a sensitive topic, but it was fine. He was confessing, and she loved it.

Casper took in a shaky breath. "When I found you in the parking lot, crying, my heart actually broke. You shouted at me, understandably, and I felt my heart crack. I tried so hard to calm you down, I wanted to hurt whoever hurt you. When you told me that someone had been stalking you, sending you weird ass messages, I felt so helpless. When I realized who It was, I was so pissed off."

Casper finally took another breath.

"I like you— no, I'm in love with you." Casper said helplessly. "I'm so devoted to you, 'Steria."

Asteria wasted literally no time before cupping Casper's face and kissing him. He was her oxygen underwater.