Slipping Through My Fingers | Xicheng

Chapter 4

Drowning is truly awful. Awful, but also terrifying. It's not even about the sudden lack of air. After a moment a feeling of helplessness begins to overwhelm you. Even if you want to go down, some part of you will want to go back towards the surface. You get scared, and start to doubt your decision. That's why you fight your way back up. You wish for something to hold onto, something that will allow you to get above the surface of the water, but your vision becomes blurry, you slowly lose your strength and stop fighting. You sink, just like you wanted to.

***

"I am going to punch those motherfuckers in their ugly wrinkled faces," Jin Ling grumbled to himself, getting off his sword.

The Jin Elders were a real nuisance to him these days, and he was furious when they came to him for an 'urgent' discussion yesterday, when he was about to leave for Lotus Pier. He wanted to wish his Jiujiu a happy birthday and give him the present. He was angry, but decided that he would beg Jiang Cheng for forgiveness the next day. Although he knew that he would be disappointed at first, he was also sure that he would understand him, knowing how big of a pain in the ass his Sect Elders could be.

He thought about sending his present through one of the disciples, but decided against it. He wanted to give it to him and see his reaction with his own eyes, as it was handmade. Lately, Jin Ling picked up an interest in jewelry and accessory making, in order not to go mad because of all that workload, which followed his job as a Sect Leader.

He designed and made a nine-petaled lotus shaped silver hair piece, ornamented with purple colored jewels as Jiang Cheng's birthday gift with the utmost care. He really hoped that his Jiujiu would like it. Especially because he didn't have much time for him lately, and he honestly felt bad about it. However he wasn't sure how to tell him that he was testing the ground for his probable courtship of Ouyang Zizhen. He was also sure that the less people knew about it, the lesser the embarrassment if he gets rejected. That's why only his other two friends were aware of that fact for the moment.

He went through the gate of Lotus Pier and was immediately greeted by the disciples standing guard that night. Jin Ling was quite tired, because he rushed here as soon as the meeting ended, but he wanted to see his Jiujiu first, no matter if he was already asleep or not. He can bear his fury.

"Yao Jiao, is Sect Leader Jiang already in his room?," he asked the female disciple.

She thought for a moment, before shaking her head.

"No, Sect Leader Jin. As far as I am aware, he was last seen by one of the servants near the lotus pond, more or less half an hour ago."

Jin Ling nodded and went in the given direction. Jiang Cheng must be having sleeping problems again - he thought. When he was a young boy, he often found him in that place, lost in thought and with sadness in his eyes, trying to get a moment's rest in order not to collapse under the weight of responsibilities on his shoulders. Jiujiu always reprimanded him at first, that he shouldn't wander around alone in the middle of the night, but then his gaze would soften, he would plant him in his lap and they would sit like that until Jin Ling fell asleep. There was no place in the whole universe that felt more like home to Jin Ling, than his uncle's loving arms.

He went around the Lotus Pier, straight for the lotus pond. Even though it was the middle of the night it was quite bright outside, thanks to the moonlight. Even the torches were not overly necessary. He loved coming back to his home, and till he put a foot in there for the first time in weeks, he didn't knew he missed it so much.

Jin Ling approached the bench on which Jiang Cheng usually sat when he was coming to this place, but to his surprise there was no sign of his uncle. He looked around, and was about to retreat, thinking that Jiang Wanyin already went to his room, but then something in the pond catched his eye. The moonlight shone right on it, as if wanting for him to notice. As he looked closer, his heart stopped and he went pale.

He threw himself at a run toward the pond, jumping into it, heedless of his soaking robes. At this moment, he was extremely grateful that Jiang Cheng had taught him to swim well and fast enough, so that after just a moment, he was already next to him. The only part of him sticking out above the water was his hand. Jin Ling dived in and, trying to keep his emotions in check, grabbed him and headed towards the shore.

"Help!," he screamed as loud as he could, hoping to alarm some disciple or a servant.

Trying to keep his composure, he blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. Jin Ling took a deep breath in order to focus all his thoughts on what he had to do.

"Come on, do it just like Jiujiu taught you to," he said to himself.

He focused all his energy, and proceeded to flow his qi into Jiang Cheng's meridians, getting distracted just for a moment, when a young servant girl came running to him.

"Go and bring the healer. Right now!," he screamed at her, when she stared at Jiang Wanyin like paralyzed.

He returned all his focus to Jiang Cheng, getting impatient when it was taking too long to work. Thankfully, after a brief moment he started coughing, and Jin Ling released a slight breath of relief. He turned his Jiujiu on his side, for him to spit out the water, without choking on it. Jiang Cheng opened his eyes for a brief moment, and looked at him with an undeciphered expression before losing his consciousness once more.

Everything that followed suit was like a big blur to Jin Ling. He doesn't remember clearly what happened after, as he acted mechanically. The healer came running, along with other disciples and they took Sect Leader Jiand to the infirmary. One stayed behind, to escort Jin Ling there as well.

Not until the morning came, the sunlight brightened the infirmary room, and the birds started their morning song, when Jin Ling allowed himself to finally shed tears and cry his heart out. Throughout all this time he hasn't left Jiang Cheng's side even for a second, keeping his hand in his own. Holding it tightly, afraid that if he loosened his grip it would slip away and Jiang Wanyin would disappear.

He knew that he failed his Jiujiu. He must have, since he didn't even notice the signs that would have warned him of the impending disaster, and there surely must have been some. What if he came too late, and no one would find him on time? What if Jiang Cheng would spend his last moments in such a cruel manner, surrounded by familiar yet cold waters of the lotus pond? Jin Ling would've never forgive himself for that, not that he will forgive himself for his obliviousness anyway.

For the next couple of hours the healers came and went away regularly. They were checking their beloved Sect Leader's health with the utmost care, being noticeably worried. Jin Ling spent all that time in the infirmary, but even there he was able to feel the somber atmosphere that enveloped the Lotus Pier.

But that was only until Jiang Cheng finally opened his eyes once again, slightly squeezing Jin Ling's hand.