Healing

17.

I get into my car and wait for Cyra and Ahmed to get into their house.

She looked so pretty and the way she just help herself was so elegant.

She actually liked me.

How lucky was I?

The next few months, I promise myself, I would try my best to become someone who she deserved.

And more importantly I would become someone I knew الله SWT would be proud of.

I pull into my house. The smell of something sweet hits me as soon as I walk through the door.

"What are you making Nenek," I call out to my grandma. She was watching over Dua while I was out.

"Just a little something. Go take care of Dua while I wash these dishes." I walk into the kitchen to see her surrounded by different bowls and utensils.

"It's okay Nenek. How about you go sit and talk to her while I wash these." Softly putting my hand on her back, I guide her to the living room as she protests, and sit her down.

"Finally you're back," Dua yells at me as she runs down the stairs.

"I missed you." I lift her up into the air and circle her around before setting her back down on the floor. "What did you have to do?"

I stare at her for a moment, my eyes flickering to my grandma who smiles and nods. "I'll tell you later."

"But I want to know now. Why not now?" She was a slightly impatient child, something she had inherited from our father.

"I promise I'll tell you if you sit on the couch and talk to Nenek while I wash the dishes." I always tried my best to treat her nice, as I was now. She was sort of like my soft spot, but I knew I had to discipline her somehow.

She agrees and runs to our grandma to talk about something animatedly. I laughed as I walked to the kitchen.

Upon further inspection it was messier than I had thought. Their were packets of flour and sugar and other ingredients around the counters. Looking at the ground, I could see flour in certain spots.

My insides scream as I close my eyes. A messy kitchen was my worst nightmare. The cafe was always the cleanest as I could have it even while in use, and standing in the middle of all of this gave me a headache.

I force myself to walk forward without making any complaints. It could be worse right?

I put in my AirPods and start to go to my playlist when I remember. Hadn't I promised I would try my best to become better?

But what else is there to listen to?

I remember a podcast Cyra was talking about a few weeks ago. Was it called Islamic reminders?

Sure enough it comes up and I play the first one called "Do's."

"Ibn Al-Qayim, he has 10 points that he promises if implemented sincerely in your life will cause you to love الله." The scholars voice rings in my ears.

I had learned many things throughout my time of studying Islam, but there was always more to learn. And sometimes you needed to hear the words from someone else's mouth for it to truly process in your mind.

I slowly clean everything up as I listen intently on my what the lecturer was saying. It made the time skip by faster than I thought it would because before I knew it the kitchen was back to its usual clean haven.

I'll definitely have to thank her for this one.

Now it was time to put Dua to bed. I sigh as I crack my back.