Healing

38.

𝐻𝒾𝓈 ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

Everything had gone smoothly and the evening was finally wrapping up.

"Assalamu Alaikum," I tell her parents and then to her and her brother.

"Walaikum Assalam," she replied in a sweet soft voice.

Had her voice always sounded this amazing?

I shoo the thoughts away as I open the car door for her and wait for her to get in.

Except instead of getting in right away she comes closer and whispers, "I had a lot of fun today. Thank you."

I open my mouth to respond but she's already in the car and my arm has somehow managed to push the door shut.

I watch as her father starts driving away and it's only when the car is past the gates and my father had gone back into the house that I dared to whisper a response.

Me too.

I had said it so low that even I hadn't heard myself say it as the words blew away in the light autumn wind.

I turn around to go into the house but my father was standing there in the doorway.

He stood there for a moment as if trying to pick his next words carefully.

"She's not a bad girl. I see why you're attracted to her,"he said to me.

I stood there, stunned at the words that had come out of his mouth. He was....agreeing on our marriage?

But before I could say anything he turned around and left, leaving me all alone outside.

I look at the doorway that he was just standing in moment ago.

Was I hallucinating?

I rub my eyes out of confusion and decide to go upstairs and shower.

As I pass the living room I hear Dua laughing.

Curious, I quietly peer through the doorway to see him playing with Dua. He was tickling her now as she hysterically laughed.

I smiled. She still had a clean image of him and I hoped it would stay that way.

She didn't deserve to live with what I had lived with. I would make sure of it. Even if it took everything I had, I would make sure.

Turning towards the staircase, I jog up to my room and only when my door is locked and my shower is running do I let myself breath properly.

My mind went over what had happened. Out of thin air, my baba had called me and said to set up a family dinner with them. I had asked him why and his response was him telling me to not ask any more questions and just do as I was asked.

Which was a pretty typical response from him.

I thought for a moment that I was dreaming. Maybe I was delirious. For a few days after that I honestly thought he was joking. But that wasn't my dad. He never joked. It was always seriousness.

Which mean that right now he must be playing a game.

I was trying to get to the bottom of whatever it was he was planning but my mind just couldn't grasp it.

Turning off the water I wrap a towel around my torso and open the door of my shower.

I think over every single scenario that could have possibly happened today but none of them happened. Everything went well.

I use another towel to dry my hair and grab black seed oil from my counter and apply a bit to my palms before rubbing it all throughout my scalp.

I had thought he would have said something to her.

But he didn't.

Maybe it had something to do with her dad.

But nothing seemed off about him when he left.

Frustratedly, I open my cabinet and take out my skincare which consisted of a serum an eye cream and a moisturizer.

I stare back at the man looking at me in the mirror. His cheeks were slightly flushed. The slighted tinge of red showed through his tan skin and his eyes looked abnormally dark even through the tangle of hair that slightly covered his vision.

I sigh as I push back my hair and get to putting on the products.

The only sound I could hear was the light tapping of my fingers on my face and the night animals that were starting to wake up.

Maybe he's trying to be a good father for once, a voice rings out in my head.

I try to shove away the thought but it still stays.

Everyone deserved another chance didn't they?

I let out a low scoff as I realize how my I had let Cyra get to me. She was the one who would always look for the bets in people. She was searching, always searching.

But that wasn't me.

Yet here I was thinking exactly like her.

"God I love her," I say and lightly smack my head on the countertop.

She is the reason I changed, she is the reason I started trying again. Allah ﷻ couldn't have written a better name next to mine.

That's why they say to trust Allah's plan don't they?

We may not know where they're leading us but the important think is to trust and to have sabr along the journey.

I resign from my thoughts and decide to not assume the worst of my father. If he had ulterior motives then it would be uncovered with time.

But for now I wouldn't pry. Our nikkah was happening soon.

I would let Allah's plan work through because whatever it was, I had full trust that it would lead to something positive even if there were a few roadblocks along the journey.

Because as Allah ﷻ promised, with hardship will come ease.