CH:19- Love-And it's forms

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Karishma entered her room very satisfied after seeing Haseena's reaction. "You like my eyes on you Haseena as much as I like them, to be on you," She mumbled as she took out Haseena's journal from under the pillow.

Dear friend,

I can't tell you what a day I had today. I really don't know who is right or who is wrong after the events of today. Let me just not waste much time in over-explaining things and let me ease my mind after sharing everything with you.

So, when I woke up today I saw Pushpa Ji sitting outside on the couch, waiting for me, her presence at this early hour was surprising and concerning to me at the same time. And, when I asked her, she stated that I should go and speak to Miss Singh about her marriage on her behalf. I can't tell you my heart went to my throat. What? Why? I asked myself internally. I really don't want to come in between them. I think it's their personal matter and they should discuss it with each other without involving me and I wanted to tell the same to Pushpa Ji when she pleaded and I couldn't say no to her. She has helped me on so many occasions and when my turn has come to do something, I don't want to deny it. So, without putting much argument with Pushpa Ji, I agreed to speak with Miss Singh but I knew she wouldn't like my coming to her on her mother's behalf and I was right, she didn't.

So, when I informed her that Pushpa Ji wants to get remarried. She was upset not because Pushpa Ji wanted to get remarried but she was hurt that her mother didn't trust her enough to share this news with her and due to that I felt anger building inside her for me and for her mother and she was right in feeling that way. She should be upset and if I were in her place, I would have been mad too, probably more than her but she was calm and trying to understand the situation.

I really didn't want to stay between them once I got them talking. My job was done and I wanted to leave but because I made a promise to Pushpa Ji, I stayed. And, I think that's the biggest mistake I made. So when both of them were arguing and blaming each other for not sharing things with each other, I guess in anger or in frustration that has built inside Pushpa Ji over the years for waiting for her daughter to come out to her or trust her enough to share her preferences, she spills the beans. I felt I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I saw Miss Singh's face turning red but I didn't know if that was anger or embarrassment, that her mother outed her in front of a stranger without a proper talk. I felt sorry for her at that very moment. It shouldn't have to be like this. Argggh! These confrontations man, they can kill you sometimes.

Because I was a mediator both sides have my sympathies and I felt bad for both of them. Listen to me first before you judge me. Okay! So for Pushpa Ji, she has waited for ten years for Miss Singh to come out to her but Miss Singh didn't know that Pushpa Ji knew, so I feel like Puhspa Ji could have discussed with Miss Singh or confronted her, or probably she might have but indirectly. But Pushpa Ji must understand that her daughter doesn't get indirect clues, you have to be direct, very direct with her if you are talking about emotions otherwise she won't understand any things at all. Look! Who is talking? I shouldn't be giving any advice because I know, I'm the worst at it too.

So, let's not get distracted as we talk about Miss Singh. I still can't figure out how Miss Singh felt at that moment, was she embarrassed, was she ashamed or was she angry at her mother. She was definitely angry and I think so, it's her right to be. However, Miss Singh is in the wrong too. She should have told Pushpa Ji about her preferences, she had a lot of time on her hands. It was Puhspa Ji who confronted her. What if Miss Singh was never planning to tell Pushpa Ji? Or What if any of the relatives of Pushpa Ji or clients, came in and confronted Pushpa Ji about her daughter's preferences? I felt like someone must have told Puhspa Ji about Miss Singh and God knows how she has covered that on behalf of Miss Singh. We think the world is blind but it's not. If Miss Singh has taken a chance and told everything to Pushpa Ji, I guess things will be on a much easier front and she wouldn't be that hurt. But who am I to say?

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