✔ DRUNK words, SOBER thoughts ✖ hemmings au

45: Final Wishes

ARI.

When I walked down the corridor towards my mom's hospital room, I knew I was going to walk into some bad news. I had this gut-wrenching feeling that wouldn't go away, and I was bracing myself for the worse. I dug my hands into my jacket pockets, nervously cracking my knuckles and concentrating on my breathing. My heart pounded chaotically upon my chest as I inched closer and closer.

I peeked my head into the open room before walking completely inside. The doctor stood by my mother, checking her vitals while a nurse replaced the IV-bag. I silently observed the scene before me, feeling my stomach drop a thousand feet as my eyes trailed across my mother's weakening body. She was frail, her hair thinning, and she became more pale as each day passed.

A few days ago, it seemed like she was getting better, but I came to realize that it was just the better of her worse days. I hated to see her in pain, hated the fact that she had to fake a smile to keep Mia and I happy. But ironically, even though my mom was dying before our eyes, she was the most stable.

"Anak, water, please," mom's voice shook with each word, frailness dripping through her lips.

(translation: child)

I didn't vocally respond, I just silently nodded my head and walked closer to her. Grabbing the plastic cup sitting on the table, I held the white, bendy straw by her mouth. She sipped on the cool liquid for a moment, a few droplets dribbling from the sides of her lips. With my sleeve, I carefully wiped the area.

"More?" I asked her. She shook her head, and re-situated herself on the bed. I sat the cup back down on the table, pulling the chair up to the bed and plopped down, setting my backpack off to the side.

"Are you comfortable Theresa?" The nurse asked, her tone soft and sweet. "Do you need anything else?"

"I'm good. Just tired," mom responded, another forced smile creeping onto her face.

"Your lunch will be coming in about an hour, okay? And I'll be back with your medicine," she informed, taking off the purple latex gloves off of her hand with a snap. Mom smiled as the nurse threw her gloves away into the trash bin and walked out of the room followed by the doctor.

"How's school Ari?" Mom suddenly asked me, turning her head to face me.

"I'm still on break mom," I told her. "I go back next Tuesday."

"How's your Debut preparation?" She questioned, continuing the conversation and I could hear her struggle to breathe as she spoke.

"Mom, you're tired. Just go to sleep. We can talk later," I sighed, reaching over to gently rub her shoulder.

"I want to talk to you now," she insisted. Mom was always stubborn and I definitely inherited that gene.

"Anak ko, listen to me," she began, "are you listening?"

(translation: my child)

"Yes mom, I'm listening," I said, leaning forward.

"Don't cancel your Debut," mom told me, a sudden firmness to her voice. I opened my mouth to argue, but she quickly continued, "please, it's the last thing I can give you."

"You don't have to give me anything. You've given me enough already. More than enough," I declared. I could tell where this conversation was headed and I felt my nostrils flare out slightly- a cue that tears were imminent.

"God's going to take me soon," she confidently stated.

"Don't say that!" I scolded. "You'll get better."