Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 10

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Announcement - "To all ships, I, unfortunately, announce that I'm now married to Arbiter."

Sirens - "I would ask of you girls to kill Purifier, but she's sort of immortal so I guess I have to suffer more."

Arbiter - "Stop being horny. I'm not going to fuck you and give you children, stop persisting."

San Diego - "You don't own the word "San," stop fighting San Francisco."

San Francisco - "If she persists, just take her microphone."

Bache - "Just looking at you brings me immense suffering. I'm probably going to file a restraining order just because of that."

Sims - "You're just like Bache, but just... actually no, you're as worse as her."

Arizona - "I suggest you build up your AA defenses in case... you know. I don't think I need to tell you what might happen."

Clevelad - "Your father is a great cruiser. Oh she looks like a girl? No, that's just your imagination."

Enterprise - "The day I tell you about the birds and the bees is the day Yorktown makes me "disappear."

Hornet - "It has come to my attention that you're the one leaving parts of your clothes everywhere around the base. The fact you deny you're an exhibitionist only digs you a deeper grave."

Yorktown - "For the love of god, we won't nuke sakura empire, please stop asking." 

Mikasa - "Mommy."

Shinano - "I didn't make you my flagship because of your floof. Stop assuming that."

Nagato - "I hereby name you "#1 Loli Leader."

Mutsu - "I know it was a mistake on the last sortie report, but it's funny the autocorrect of your name is Mitsubishi."

Tosa - "One day. One day I'll make you my wife instead of Abriter."

Akagi-Chan - "I'm not your father, who told you that? Akagi?"

Harutsuki - "I know the girls joke about your appearance, but I can see the resemblance between you and Reimu. I don't blame them, really."

Kinu - "The question if you're a boy or girl is a very important one. The other question is if you are a closeted BDSM lover."

Choukai - "I find it hard to believe Atago, Takao, and Maya are your sisters, because you're more sane than all three."

Kaga (BB) - "Congratulations on being a battleship, I think none of us need to hear the extremely graphic description of how you became one. I think you traumatized some of the destroyers."

Kashino - "For a munition ship, you kinda are asking to be blown up. Just saying."

Roon - "There's no excuse, you're clinically insane."

Prinz Eugen - "Funny the first time, but annoying to hear "We're the three Prinz-sketeers." every-time you're Adalbert and Heinrich."

Admiral Hipper - "I know a few doctors that can give you breast implants if it hurts you that much."

Nürnberg - "The fact you think you can hosts war crime trials because of your name baffles me. Only Vestal can hold those trials."

Z24 - "Just because you look "emo" and have point ears, doesn't mean you call yourself "Count Dracula," you should be called "Count Suicide" for that type of attire."

Köln - "Your version of fifty shades of grey involving you and me will never see the light of day. Don't bother looking, I burnt the book, along with Shoukaku's book about Akagi."

Graff Zeppelin - "Operation: Destroy the World will never happen. I'll assign a therapist to help you and Roon."

Peter Strasser - "Do something about Graf. Just... anything. Is that so much to ask?"

Friedrich Der Grosse - "Nazi Mommy."

Augustus Von Parseval - "Nazi Mommy #2."

Charybdis - "Promoted to head maid until further notice... no, it isn't because you're cute."

Belfast - "Suck it up, choke kink lover."

Duke of York - "I should remind you that you aren't the duke of any country, or York. Stop threatening everyone to think otherwise."

York - "Stay away from Duke of York... unless you want to be a prisoner to her."

Chaser - "You're either american or british, make up your mind!"

Renown - "Who's your sister again?"

Victorian - "You can't go around preaching about equality when you shove religion down people's throats and throw bibles at them. You threw forty-seven bibles at Queen Elizabeth and now she's in a coma! How did you even get that many bible books?!"

Kent - "...... I hate everything about you."

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