Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 12

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Announcement - "To all ships, Yorktown has been arrested for the slaughtering of Prinz Eugen. Her trial will be in a month. On a unrelated note, Admiral Hipper is receiving her breast implants in a week."

Yorktown - "You might not see this since you're in jail, but I think you need therapy as much as Roon and Graz Zeppelin need it."

Enterprise - "This isn't a time for fooling around, your sister will be facing jail time. No, you won't be receiving any payments from the trial."

Hornet - "Your attempts at breaking your sister out of jail has been foiled. Don't ever try again, please."

Admiral Hipper - "What happened to your sister was a true tragedy. But on the other hand, are you ready to finally have tits?"

Akashi - "You're the last person I'd trust with an autopsy. Wait, why did you have a book on necromancy?"

Vestal- "You should keep the autopsy room locked at all times. Admiral Hipper is not pleased with what Akashi is doing."

Hood - "I don't spy on you, stop saying that."

PoW - "I'm not perverted- Wait you can't even get on me for that, you used to grope Eugen anytime of the day!"

Queen Elizabeth - "You're banned from having coffee, I've never seen a ww1-era battleship go on a hyper speed rampage across the base."

Monarch - "Congrats on being released from the hospital, I recommend staying away from Belfast though to avoid future conflicts."

Chaser - "I didn't say I wanna marry you. I mean, yeah, who wouldn't marry you, but I didn't say I would!"

Ark Royal - "Under orders of Queen Elizabeth, you are to be released from camp concentrate and put under house arrest. That's just another way of saying, "you're dry docked for a uncertain amount of time." Don't do anything stupid."

Illustrious - "You need to calm down with your hugs, you almost suffocated Unicorn to death."

Duke of York - "No you're not female Dracula, stop scaring the little destroyers."

North Carolina - "I see how you're eying New Jersey. So god help me if you try and kidnap her because of your bunny fantasies. I don't think you will though, she's stronger than you."

Bremerton - "Tennis marches are to be played using tennis balls, not live ammunition. Because of you, Allen Summers is in the hospital ward."

Alabama - "You aren't allowed to carry your scythe around base anymore. Do you know the rumors circling around the destroyers and submarines right now? They think you're the female grim reaper."

Essex - "I couldn't help but notice how you've been eying Enterprise. Don't do it, Belfast will tear you apart."

Intrepid - "Save your sister or she'll never return."

Clevelad - "I don't know how you and the two other loli versions were made. I assume this was Vestal and Akashi's idea, but that's my theory."

Lil' Sandy - "I gotta find a way to get rid of you. One San Diego is bad enough, two is asking for scrapping."

Little Enterprise - "I'm making it my life duty to protect you from Ark Royal. Or, actually, Enterprise told me to do so."

Z23 - "Stop flexing you are the "number one Nazi destroyer," because you are one of the main four destroyer to choose. I think your sisters are planning to either prank or destroy you."

Zeppy - "I had high expectations for you. When I asked what you wanted to do in the future and you responded with "I want to blow up the earth," I instantly knew you were just like her."

Wesser - "We are doing to need you to disclose the information of you being a girl. Countless of ironblood girls are thinking you're a boy in disguise as a girl."

Yorck - "I wouldn't make you my secretary... but I will consider it. No, I won't call you my big sister."

Friedrich Der Grosse - "If you want, you can come to my office and talk to me. You know, like one to one without anyone disturbing us. I'm sure we'd both like that because of, you know, what happened last night."

Roon - "I'm locking my doors. I never want to see you in my bed... naked."

Akagi - "How does it feel being in a hospital ward? Must suck, right?"

Taihou - "For the record, while you did beat Akagi, Roon would've won either way, even you teamed up against her."

Kaga - "Make sure your sister isn't targeted by Taihou."

Amagi - "I know it's the job of a elder sister to care for her little sister, but I think you're going a little overboard by handcuffing her to the bed."

Ise - "You are, by far, the sanest shipgirl in all of sakura empire. For that, I'm making you the leader of the entire faction."

Nagato - "Under my orders, you're demoted from leader of the sakura empire. Now, that role goes to Ise."

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