The Demigod Games- A Percy Jackson and Hunger Games Fan Fiction

Chapter Eighteen

That night I laid awake, my thoughts being my only solace and my darkest nightmares. How could he be doing that to me? Didn't he understand how much it'd hurt me?...

He'd have to I guess..."  I thought bitterly.

Ever since we left four when we were younger, I'd had a shell necklace that he'd given to me. I usually wore it all the time, but lately I hadn't been. I didn't wear it the night we were taken, simply because I'd wrapped it around the hilt of my knife, a common habit for me . I felt like it would give me good luck the next time I used the knife if I did that.

Remembering this small detail, I crept out of my bunk, careful not to wake the others and rummaged around until I felt the familiar worn leather wrapped hilt. It felt so natural having it in my hand, a perfectly balanced extension of my arm. And just as I'd left it, the seashell necklace wrapped tightly around the molded handle, the chain shimmering faintly in the low light of the room.

Treading softly back over to my bunk, I climbed in and unsheathed the knife, the Celestial bronze casting a warm golden glow over the sheets. I could see my reflection faintly in the cold and unforgiving metal.

Carefully, I unwrapped the chain from the handle and held the shell in the palm of my hand as if it were a life preserver. And honestly? In more than one way it really was. That shell anchored me to my life in four, to my life before this. Back when it was just Percy and I, back when I thought we'd finally find a safe place to grow up together without having to be scared for our lives...

"Annabeth?..." Carrie's voice floated softly to me.

I tried to put the knife back in its hilt but by then she'd dropped down onto the bunk next to me.

"Hey, what's wrong?..." her voice was soft and tired, her hair sticking up all over the place.

It wasn't until she asked me what was wrong that I realized I'd been crying.

Playing mommy, she wiped a tear from my cheek as I sat silently staring straight ahead.

"It's nothing, I'm just stressed out about this whole thing. I don't want to go into the arena..." I tried my hardest to sound convincing. It wasn't a total lie, because I really was stressed and I really didn't want to go into the arena, but it wasn't what was bothering me at that second.

"Annabeth." Carrie took my face in both of her hands and made me look at her. "We both know that's bullshit. What's going on sweetheart?"

Her calling my bluff did it. I fell apart in front of her. I silently thanked mom that Nate and Jax were heavy sleepers.

"It's Percy... Today he ignored me during training.. and I saw him hugging another girl in a more than friendly way.. It's getting to me more than it should but it's just.." I managed to get through between gasps.

"That's horrible! Anna I'm so sorry.. Doesn't he know how much you need him?.."

"Well no.. maybe he doesn't.. I mean I'm the victor.. I'm the veteran in this situation.. Maybe he thinks that I don't need him or want his help?.." I sniffled, wiping frantically at my eyes.

Carrie grabbed the blankets and wrapped them around us.

"I wonder why he'd think that though..." she whispered, rubbing my back. Soon we fell into a comfortable near silence, the only sounds were my occasional sniffling and Jax's light snores.

ˆWhy would he do this?... Think Annabeth! That's what you're good at! What did you do before the games?

I trained.. a lot. I observed the other competitors, tried to recognize patterns of behavior and friend groups...

That's what struck me. 'Friend groups.' Friend groups led to what? Alliances.

I took a deep shaky breath and let it slowly out, running fingers through my tangled curls.

"Hey I think I'm gonna go get some air, okay? Come find me if anyone comes looking,"I told Carrie before standing up.

"But Annabeth it's cold out, you're only wearing shorts and a t shirt!" she called after me.

I shrugged, rolling my eyes. "I'll be fine." I muttered, pushing my way through the door.

The halls were silent, half of the fluorescent lights off. It looked like a scene from a scary movie made before the war. My bare feet on the tile made a soft treading sound as I walked, my mind the only company I had. As I wound through the hallways I felt increasingly more like a mouse in a maze, looking for the cheese at the end which would mean my end. I hope that none of you have ever felt that way because it's an incredibly unnerving feeling. My anxiety grew more with each passing step, so much to the point that I could hardly walk because of the trembling in my body. I felt like I was being followed.

I counted the lights until I found the glass doors that spelled out my temporary sort of freedom.

Finally when I reached them, I almost fell through the doors. As soon as the cool mountain air hit my skin, felt more at ease. Taking a breath, I walked over to the railing and stared out across the vast mountains, the snow on the peaks shimmering in the moonlight.

I remembered one of those first days that we got here, how I'd hung over this railing and scared Dr. Carter half to death. The threat of losing one of his precious demigod pawns was too much for him.

I climbed up onto that rail again, hands on either side of my legs to steady myself.

That was when I allowed myself to let go.

I screamed.

Louder than I've ever screamed before. I screamed for all those times I couldn't or didn't back in the arena. I screamed for all the deaths I'd witnessed. I screamed for the broken hearts of families and girlfriends and boyfriends of those lost over all the years the Games had been happening. I screamed for everyone trapped on this mountaintop hell. I screamed for Nate and for Carrie, my newfound siblings. I screamed for every friend I'd made here. I screamed for my old life, back in the districts, back in Four and in Twelve. I screamed for Percy, for what we had, what we could've had if we hadn't have been taken. I screamed for myself, for all that I'd lost because of the Games then and now. I screamed till I could't anymore. 

And when I was done, I contemplated letting myself topple over the edge. I let go of the railing, the images of Percy and that girl burning behind my closed eyelids.

I allowed my body to sway a little, side to side, front to back, and then I opened my eyes.

"What's left for me really anyway?..."I whispered. "Only one of us makes it out alive.. If I win, I lose everyone I care about, I lose my other half.. That is, if I haven't already.. If Percy wins, all of us will be gone, even that girl he was with. Anyone who wins? They win wind. There's no upside to winning a life of loneliness... I've dealt with that before.. Percy helped me.. But now?.. If I win he'll be gone so what will it even matter.. Nothing matters anymore..."

I felt the hot tears trickling down my face but I didn't bother to wipe them off. If they found me, I wanted them to know this had ended in pain.

With that final decision, I let myself sway once more with the wind, and ever so slowly, begin to topple over into the void.