Fate.

Chapter 10 - The Marriage

In some ways, I have everything I have ever wanted - a beautiful family, a few true friends, and a home enveloped in peace. But every time the sun sets, I return home to my empty room. I cobble together longing poetry and write myself dry of the loss. Loss of what? I don't know. I dream of dinner parties and crowds. Instead, I walk alone in the park, spending the whole night awake, dissolving into some other world. I stare at the ceiling and paint scenarios of what once was and what could have been and what could be. My friends are celebrating birthdays and anniversaries and I am dreaming about the day when I will forget the past. I used to give myself Ted Talks about how I should surrender myself to the uncertainty of the future. That it's not too late. That life is pretty and I am deserving something real. I want to feel bold like the sun but I feel like a crescent moon hidden behind clouds. I want to write about how happiness feels like the colour yellow and how my heart is melting within it. But when I open my diary, all I see are a few incomplete stories displayed on the pages. I can never complete a story because the story ends before I finish it. But I think I'm learning to find beauty in that. That it's beautiful when endings come before we anticipate, that some endings are different than the kind of endings we imagine - and that if you just pick your soul off the floor and try with every existing power within you to dig deep, you can find beautiful goodness in that.

Naina's POV

I don't know what fate has in store in the next chapter of my life. Whatever it is I know that a faithful, loving, and loyal man will be by my side for the rest of my life to protect and make me feel secure. I know that I am falling for that man and that eventually, I will love him. I know it is wrong to not open up to a man like Rishi about my past, especially after what happened during mine and Rishi's engagement ceremony. During the ceremony whilst we were all dancing Dev got too close to me making me slightly uncomfortable, I don't know what it is but recently Dev has started to give me vibes of my rapist. I am not saying it is Dev who did it and I am aware that my thoughts are slightly extreme but I don't know what it is but Dev does give me those vibes. Anyway, thankfully Rishi noticed this and asked Dev to dance away from me and Rishi and then apologized to me and explained that Dev may have got too close to me as he is slightly drunk. This little act of Rishi won my heart, even though it is the bare minimum Rishi did actions like this have the power to make a girl feel valued. Maybe once we get married and once a few years goes by I might open up to Rishi about my horrendous past.

Authors POV

Finally, the day has arrived where Rishi is going to tying the knot with Naina. Initially, they had planned on a court marriage, but there are slight variations in plans now. It is still more or less like a court marriage, however, the event will be taking place at Naina's house. They will also be tying the knot according to Hindu traditions. 

Naina clenched her fists tightly until her nails dug into the palm, however Naina barely cared. Naina's heart was throbbing against the cage of her chest frantically, how much she wished for her father to be by her side today. As a child, Naina would always dream of walking down the aisle with her father. Today it breaks Naina's heart to know that her father is not around to walk her down the aisle. Losing a parent is so strange because you go through the rest of your life not being able to see or talk to them ever again, but you still feel like you will. Every once in a while, it all just hits you that they are never literally coming back and you feel the feeling of losing them all over again. 

"Naina?" She heard a knock at the door. It was Reena, her mother. "Are you ready Naina?" Reena asked from the outside.

"Yes, Ma. Just coming". Naina replied, wiping away her tears. Before heading out Naina looked at herself in the mirror. Naina was covered in a beautiful white saree and a matching blouse. Naina wore subtle makeup and looked no less than a goodness. Putting all her thoughts to a side, Naina walked out from her room. Naina wasn't allowed to go downstairs yet as she had to wait for the groom and his family to arrive. Initially Naina was reluctant to marry more or less in accordance with the Hindu traditions but soon complied with it because when Rishi is making so many sacrifices to marry Naina why can't Naina make a small sacrifice? Soon Naina heard someone's footsteps coming into her direction and she wiped away her tears immediately, it was her grandma. "Everything will be fine my child." Naina just passed a small smile Grandma then further added ? "I know it is difficult for you to leave us but according to our Indian culture girls are expected to be 'sent of' to her in laws after she gets married."