✓ READY TO LOVE | JAKE

12 - Before I love you

It happened again. Jake spent his days alone in his room, not wanting and not able to see anyone. He preferred to keep himself away from everyone because that was better than him getting hurt again.

It wasn't Soo Yun's fault, he knew it. He regretted what he said because she was there and she heard him. And his words hurt her a lot.

Jake would lie if he said that he didn't feel anything for Soo Yun because he did. It wasn't love, but that unknown feeling warmed his heart and comforted him. And now he ruined everything.

His heart went cold and only hollow rhythms surrounded from within, but then she rose, brilliant as the moon in full, and sank in the burrows of his keep, and all his armor, falling down, in a pile at his feet.

But everything vanished and the armor surrounded his heart again.

Staring at his window, Jake curled on his bed as he listened to his breathing. The place was silent, and he was lonely again.

It was a Sunday afternoon, and he had literally nothing to do.  

Sundays suck. They just remind you that Monday is coming and that you have to work again. But for Jake, it's just because his life sucks.

He closed his eyes and let his body relax as he let out a tired exhale. And even though his door opened, he didn't bother to see who it was because only one person had the key to his house other than himself.

"Why are you here?" Jake muttered.

"Look at you, look at the place," Heeseung scolded as he rested his hands on his hips. "You're giving up on yourself, Jake! You're going to end up rotting if you keep being like this."

"Okay. Can you let me rot in peace?"

"Sunghoon was right. You're an idiot." Heeseung said and that made Jake sit up. 

"What did you just say?" He frowned. "You have no fucking idea what he said about me, so shut the fuck up."

"A lonely dumb coward who's scared of love." He snorted before he placed a hand on his mouth. "Sorry, that's what he said."

Jake scoffed as he stared at him in disbelief. "Are you for real?"

"I mean you talked shit about his sister, of course, he'd get mad. I'm surprised he hasn't killed you yet. Perhaps he still wants you for his sister."

"What?" 

"You're seriously dumb, you know?" Heeseung rolled his eyes. "You don't realize why he's letting you spend time with his sister? He even told us not to come to visit her because you were with her."

Jake stared at his friend in confusion, but then he sank into realization. Sunghoon had been doing everything so that the two of them are alone together.

"You know, I knew Soo Yun for so long, but Sunghoon never let me stay with her. He cares about her a lot and him being scared is just normal. It's his sister, his one and only family. But he let you stay with her and even spend the night with her."

He hated how Heeseung was right. All this time... 

"He's been trying to make you forget about Nabi and see that love isn't bad, after all. And yet, you say that about his sister. You're indeed an asshole."

"Are you comforting me or trying to make me feel like shit?" 

"I'm trying to make you see things around you. Sunghoon wouldn't have acted that way if he didn't see the way you stare at her. You have to admit it."

"For fuck's sake, admit what? There's nothing to admit. I'm not in love with her."

"Really?" Heeseung folded his arms over his chest. "Can you live without her?"