Grey

Twenty-Nine

[RORY]

The longer that Finn and I were keeping up the charade, the more I realized that being in any sort of intimate relationship with him was like playing a never-ending game of emotional ping-pong. September came and went and we were deep in the throes of fall, October welcoming us with open arms in the form of brown leaves and leather-jacket temperatures.

There was a shift in more than just the weather, so it seemed. While most of what we were doing was still long distance, transitioning into a new season with him felt weirdly intimate - and frankly, terrifying. It confirmed it wasn't just a "summer fling," and somehow, in some strange universe, he hadn't gotten bored of me. Not yet, at least. My brain was in denial, bouncing back and forth between forced blissful ignorance and paranoia.

I accepted my fate, knowing it was self inflicted, but also knew something had to give. I couldn't play pretend forever and the inevitable would come, so I needed to be ready for it as best as I could.

Unfortunately I wasn't off to a great start - an absolute bundle of nerves and excitement, knowing I was going to see him later on that night. He was heading back to LA for a week and kicking off the trip with a dinner night at mine.

"Oh, what the hell is this?"

I sighed as Em turned her phone screen towards me. We were at the grocery store and she'd been mindlessly scrolling Twitter for some recipe she kept referencing, stumbling upon something else. I pulled my gaze away, unable to stomach seeing the pictures again.

"I don't know, I don't care."

"Rory, that's like a date. You should say something to him. You have to."

I huffed, wanting nothing more than to just continue filtering through the produce section in peace. The blurry photo of Finn sitting suspiciously close to a hot young blonde in the back of a restaurant in London was getting picked up by every media outlet. He and I were still very much on - at least, what that meant for us.

He'd been very vocal about Harrison encouraging him to meet with this new creative team who had ideas for solo projects. He'd been digging his heels in the sand for months but finally gave in to the pressure, letting me know he was grabbing dinner with them on that Saturday night. He'd told me a lot about the meeting, down to the insane ideas a few of the guys had - but had conveniently left out any mention of a girl.

"He said it was a work dinner, no use in starting something," I muttered, avoiding her enraged gaze. "And I know I sound like a broken record but - "

" - Just because you haven't defined your relationship doesn't mean you aren't together," she finished, shaking her head at me. "I know you, I know it bothers you. Say something to him."

"You sound crazy," I let out an extended sigh, over the conversation and all of the anxiety it brought. "Can you find the recipe, please?"

"Rory, I love you, but don't let history repeat itself. You need to set your boundaries now."

I felt my features harden as Em's did the opposite. I hated how well she knew me and I hated that she was right, that I couldn't help but wonder if Max had passed along his wise words of wisdom. 

She can't accuse you of cheating if you say it's work.

I also hated that she made it sound like Finn straying was inevitable, unless I kept the leash tight. I had no plans to confront Finn but I nodded my head in defeat, knowing she wouldn't let it go otherwise. My nerves were already skyrocketing, given that my two separate worlds were about to collide.

-

The metallic taste in my mouth snapped me out of my daze as I let my bottom lip slip out from between my teeth, having chewed it incessantly for the better part of an hour. I stared at my reflection, feeling neither pleased nor displeased. That in itself was a bad sign, but I felt like I needed a second opinion to validate my own.