Confessions of a Teenage Broadway Star

03 » ❝Vanilla Ice Cream❞

"He was so friendly. That isn't like him - I'm simply stunned!"
- Vanilla Ice Cream, She Loves Me 

CONFESSION NUMBER THREE: Scarlett would be lying if she said that her stage fright had nothing to do with the fact that she's a minority trying to make it as an actress. It's been her eternal curse; dreaming of playing Christine Daae but never having one to look up to who looks like her. And, while Scarlett would love to have the confidence to say "I'll just have to be the first one!", there are always voices that insist that an Asian girl should just stick to Miss Saigon and Flower Drum Song.

        Don't get her wrong, she'd give anything to play Kim. But is it really so wrong for her to want more than what's been written for her - or, as Kim puts it, to just be who she wants to be?

         It makes her feel... less than, somehow. Like she could never play a role like Sandy because she's always traditionally been portrayed by a blonde white girl. The world of Broadway has definitely made some strides for people of colour in the past few years (thank you, Hamilton), but Scarlett's no stranger to losing dream roles because of the shape of her eyes. Sometimes, she feels like no matter how hard she works, it might never be enough for her to be cast in a role traditionally played by a white actress - which is why she can't help but feel threatened by Mackenna Terrence, in all her mean girl glory.

         Scarlett can't deny that she's envious; that girl's resume spans from Marian to Maria, and all Scarlett can think about in fourth period the next day is how quick Mackenna was to judge her - and if everyone else at this school will be, too.

         "Alright thespians, let's start warming up!" Mrs Levine announces, taking a seat at the piano at the beginning of class. "Let's begin with a little bella signora..."

         Vocal Repertoire easily becomes Scarlett's favourite class as Mrs Levine explains their first assignment - to pick a Golden Age song that demonstrates a legit mix and perform it for the class. She can already feel the gears in her head turning in excitement. Scarlett's always loved learning new songs and musicals, and since some of her favourite shows were written in the 40s and 60s, she spends most of class with her head buried in sheet music books, marking off potential pieces as she goes.

         It isn't until she gets in line to sign out her final few selections that her bubble is quickly burst. "Hey, new girl," a voice says from behind her, and Scarlett spins around to see two girls she recognizes from Mackenna's singing group, standing with their own stacks of music. "Mind if we cut the line? We've got practice right after class and coach hates when we're late," they ask, and Scarlett notices the Mackenzie Cheer Team shirts they're sporting. Of course, on top of everything, the girls were cheerleaders. Scarlett wouldn't be surprised if they were signing out the Bring It On score. 

         She lets them pass all the same. "Sure," she says, taking her place behind them in line, stopping short as one of the girls swiftly grabs the sheet music from under her arm, inspecting it with a judgmental smirk. "That's mine, actually-" she protests, trying to grab the music back. 

         "Cute - Vanilla Ice Cream," the girl remarks, holding the music out of Scarlett's reach. "What do you think, Dani?" she asks teasingly. "I mean, I love She Loves Me as much as the next girl, but I was really hoping hear something from Miss Saigon instead, weren't you?" 

         Dani nods in agreement. "Great idea, Lauren," she praises her friend, taking a step closer to Scarlett. "We'll just take this off your hands for now," she gestures to the music, "so you can stick to something you're more suited to, you know?"