Ruins of Our Love #wattys2015

Chapter 37

It's been a month since my panic attack after Stephan threw me against the wall. Thankfully, I've suffered no injuries from the assault. No, thanks to Stephan. He just paid for your medications. It was Sylvia who nursed you back to health, Collins who stopped Stephan from killing me further, and Dr Morrison who calmed you down.

Unfortunately, ever since Stephan's father's funeral, I've suffered sleepless nights. Dreams of Nathan, my mother's yelling, Stephan's yelling all jumbled into different dreams every night.

Stephan is still as cold as ever towards me. My daily routines remain the same. Almost nothing has changed. Except one, my days were never happy. Before my panic attack, Stephan would sometimes turn kind and gentle and cuddle me. We would have a wonderful time together during those rare moments. 

Now, all Stephan ever did to make me happy during this past month is to buy me chocolate during one of my chocolate cravings. Other than that, he is cold and aloof. He still blames me for his father's death. I don't bother to correct him. If you tell him about Nathan, he'd throw you out.

"Ma'am,how are you feeling today?" Sylvia greets me.

I slowly walk towards her,my body is sore from Stephan's very rough treatment last night. "Not so good. Ibuprofen please,Sylvia," I groan in pain.

"Ma'am perhaps it would do good for you to get out of the house. Go shopping or have a spa treatment. You've had a rough month," Sylvia suggests, while she hands me a cup of tea and painkillers.

I raise an eyebrow at her,"That would be nice but I'd prefer to avoid Stephan's wrath towards me,"

"As you wish,ma'am," Sylvia nods in agreement.

"Alexa!" Stephan calls from his study. Oh damn, what did I do now?

I gingerly head to his study and see him focused on some work on his laptop,"Get ready. Don't bother to make breakfast. I'm taking you out today,"

Well,this is new. What does he want now? "Um.. where to? Don't you have work?" I asked questioning his motives for being nice all of a sudden.

"Will you not question me at every turn,Alexa? Just get your ass ready in half an hour!" He lashes rudely at me.

I gave him a small nod and walked towards the master bedroom. "Sylvia could you bring me the salve for cuts and burns?" I shout.

After a while,Sylvia appears with a tray of cottonbuds,cotton pads and a salve. She helps me clean and apply healing salve on my whipmarks from Stephan's recent lashing. This routine is very familiar to us. All he does is causes you pain and agony, why are you still with him? Because if I leave him, my parents will never see me worthy. All you've wanted is for them to be proud of you and forgive you for killing Nathan. Just hang in there.

"Mrs Grant, if I may be frank, why are you still with Stephan if he constantly hurts you?" Sylvia asks me while dressing my wounds.

I sigh in sadness, "To right a wrong. I did a mistake towards my family. This is to redeem my mistake,"

"But, ma'am. After what you've gone through, I'm sure they will forgive you?" she exclaims.

"We'll see. Sylvia, I would appreciate your discretion on this matter," I tell her. No one else can know what I'm going through right now. They would just laugh at you, like they did when Daniel left.

She finishes dressing my wounds and says, "Yes, Mrs Grant,"

She leaves me to get ready for whatever day Stephan has planned. I dress myself and mentally encourage myself to smile and mask my pain from Stephan.