Chapter 25

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Chapter Twenty Five....

I woke up with my heart beating wondering what this dream meant. Was it my subconscious telling me my mother was still alive and my father still had her trapped somewhere. That’s when I suddenly felt guilty about setting his pack house on fire because what if my mother had been in there and I killed her in that fire… I shook off that thought and decided to focus on the dream. If I had killed her in the fire I don’t know why she would show up in my dream which led me to believe she was still alive but in a lot of trouble. I would give anything to find her and free her but all that would have to wait until this child was born. I wasn’t going to do anything to risk losing my baby I was already way too attached to it to lose it. Besides if I did something to lose this baby and Kai had never been told I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself and I doubt that he would find it in his heart to forgive me either.
    For the next three weeks I didn’t do much besides lounge around the palace and spend time with Lily. She had already started the nursery even though we didn’t know if I was having a girl or boy or anything for that matter… She told me I needed to stop worrying that the doctor had told me I was the picture of health and if she knew that telling me her story would make me act so paranoid she would have thought twice about telling me. So the nursery was painted a light gray and the furniture was white and there were turquoise and black accents around the room. It wasn’t quite my taste but to me it didn’t matter, all I cared about was this baby coming out happy and healthy.
    Lily always tried asking me if I was ready to face Kai but I kept avoiding the question because to be honest I didn’t know the answer. Part of me craved to see him, not having your mate really was like losing half of yourself. The only thing keeping me from being severely depressed was the baby which made me wonder how he was doing. I still slept in his bed with his scent which I think helped me get through the days but sometimes when someone would say his name it would make me cry which I always blamed on the hormones. That was one of major parts about pregnancy I was not enjoying, my emotions were already over the place but now that I was pregnant I felt like a crazy person, I could go from tears, to laughter to extreme anger in less than a 5 minute time span. I also felt bad for the person who was on the receiving end of one of my moods swings and found myself apologizing more and more each day.
    One afternoon I was in the nursery putting away some of the baby clothes Lily had bought earlier that day. I was only 5 months along but she was determined to have every thing we needed for the baby before he or she was here including diapers. I heard footsteps in the hall but didn’t even bother to go look to see who it was, it was probably Lily or one of the maids. The nursery was across the hall from Kai’s room since Lily knew that is where I liked to stay and she hoped after the baby was born Kai and I would fix things so I would continue to stay in that room. The door was slightly open and I heard the footsteps getting closer and slower which was slightly unusual but nothing for me to be concerned about. I looked down and rubbed my belly softly and smiled to myself, I was big but I did have a cute little baby bump that everyone seemed to be rubbing lately. Suddenly I heard the door creak open and I turned to greet Lily since she would be the only one to come bother me in here. Yet it wasn’t Lily who was standing there and the sight made my heart stop. Standing there looking handsome but exhausted and almost haunted was Kai…
“Liv?” He whispered as if he wasn’t sure I was there or not.
“Its me…” I muttered not sure of what to do. He didn’t seem to noticed the room décor or my baby bump yet and I was almost grateful because I was afraid of the yelling it would create. He closed the space between us and before I knew it we were standing face to face and he gently placed his hand against my cheek and I couldn’t help but lean into his touch. I don’t think his touch had ever felt so good to me, I hated to admit it but I missed him with every inch of me. I knew I was being weak and that I should be angry but I wanted to enjoy this moment because I knew it was soon going to end.
    He suddenly seemed to snap out of his daze and he looked around the room taking it all in and then he looked down at me and I could tell the exact moment when he put it all together. I think every emotion crossed his face but it settled on hurt which I didn’t expect. I had been expecting anger not the pain that I saw in his eyes which made my heart ache painfully in my chest.
“You’re pregnant?” he asked sadly and I just nodded unable to speak.
“How far along?”
“I just reached 5 months 2 days ago…” I mumbled.
“You didn’t think I deserved to know?” he asked his voice still full of pain. I wanted to pain to go away because anger I could handle from him but the pain was eating away at me.
“I was going to tell you.” I whispered feeling guilty. It was true I was going to tell him I just hadn’t known how after everything that had happened.
“When? After the baby was born. Were you just going to send me a card this way you wouldn’t have to look my in the face!” he said his voice rising slightly, here was the anger I had been expecting and I didn’t mind because I knew I deserved it.
“No, I would never do that to you Kai. I was going to tell you before my 8th month, I just needed to work up the nerve to say it to you!” I replied begging him to believe me.
“I’d really like to believe that but I don’t even know you anymore Alivia.” he spat and I felt my heart breaking. Here I was standing in front of the man who cheated on me and I wanted nothing more then to be angry and hurt but he was the one disappointed in me.
“You don’t know me!? You’re the one who cheated, you’re the one who gave up on me, you’re the one who caused all this so don’t you dare try and put this on me!” I yelled not wanting to let him get the upper hand in this argument.
“I did not cheat on you, if you would have let me explain you would understand that. And I never gave up on you Liv, not when your father took you, not when you ran off and told no one where you had gone. I have been looking for you for 4 months, 4 very long months. Now I come home to find you in my house five months pregnant and my family is helping you hide from me. You turned my own kingdom against me!” he yelled and I flinched. I wanted to run away from him but I had to stop running, I needed to face this because this was my life and I needed to accept it disappointment and all.
“I didn’t turn your kingdom against you, I have to hear everyday how I need to contact you and that you deserve to know. I know running away from this was wrong but I didn’t know what else to do Kai. I didn’t want to trust you and then I let you into my heart and let you claim me. Then when I get kidnapped no one comes to my rescue and when I escape on my own I come back to find you with another woman. I am not proud of my actions but they were the actions of a 17 year old girl who was desperate and scared!” I yelled back and then suddenly felt weak, this was taking up too much of my energy and I couldn’t keep up with this anymore or I was going to risk my baby. He must have noticed the change in my demeanor because he stepped closer and then grabbed me as my knees buckled. He scooped my up into his arms bridal style and brought me to his room and placed me gently on his bed.
“Liv are you ok?” he asked as he looked me over making sure I wasn’t going to pass out again.
“I’m fine I just suddenly feel so tired, I can’t fight you anymore Kai. I won’t fight you anymore not while I’m pregnant, I won’t risk this baby because I have issues with you.” I said meeting his eyes and seeing defeat.
“Just rest, I’ll go get the doctor ok?” he said and leaned down and kissed my forehead and I just nodded. He was only gone for 10 minutes and when he came back the doctor was with him.
“Good to see you Alivia.” he chimed.
“You too Doc.” I teased weakly. He started to check my blood pressure and temperature and then ran a few more tests and then finally put away his instruments.
“The baby is fine but your physical condition is weak Alivia. I need you to stay in bed for a weak or two and then I’ll come check on you again. If anything happens during that time please to do not hesitate to call me.” he said his tone serious and there was no smile accompanied with his instructions this time. I nodded and Kai shook his hand and the doctor was gone. After he shut the bedroom door he sighed heavily and ran his hand threw his hair and I laughed.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“You always do that when your stressed.” I replied and he cracked a smile. It felt good to be around him but this didn’t change anything I was still angry and hurt and I didn’t know when or if I could let that go.
“I’m surprised you remember anything about me, I thought you hated me.” he replied
“Part of me does, you hurt me more then I ever thought possible. That doesn’t mean I don’t remember how to read your body language, I don’t think I’ll ever forget those things about you.”
“Your amazing you know that, even when your so angry with me your still amazing.”
“Well thanks but I think its time you took a shower because honestly you don’t look so amazing. I sure your face is dying for a shave and the rest of you would kill for some soap.” I said and stuck my tongue out earning me a soft chuckle.
“Some things will never change…”

*** Any more baby name ideas? Also who's happy that Kai is back in the picture?**** Please vote!!!

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