Savin' Us

Chapter 20- Secrets and Lies- Part One

"I don't get it, Nessa. Am I that dense? Did he think he could win me back while he has a baby on the way with another woman?! Are you kidding me?" I yell.

Vanessa and I are on our way back home. She's driving, mostly because if I was around the wheel we probably wouldn't have made it this far.

This is frustrating! Every time I see him some drama goes down and I'm always left picking up pieces of myself from the floor.

"Who the hell does he think he is?" I pull at my hair. Ugh! I hate that he could still have this effect on me. I hate it! I shouldn't be angry, heartbroken, shattered... Whatever he does shouldn't matter to me because we're over. Whatever we had is over now. He said so himself.

So why the hell do I feel like I just found out that the love of my life just cheated on me all over again?

I gaze out the window, trying to think about something- anything- else. Then I notice Vanessa has been quiet the whole time I've been yelling.

"You know, if this is your way of getting me to calm down it's a pretty crappy method," I say, still looking through the window.

But Nessa is still quiet.

"Say something already. I'm having a meltdown here." I finally look at her. Is she...crying? "Vanessa, what-"

"I'm sorry, okay? You weren't supposed to... I thought if you had time to get over him it wouldn't hurt so much if you found out." She cries.

What the hell?

"Vanessa, what are you talking about? You sound like you already knew that..." I let the sentence hang. Mostly because as realization hit me I find that I couldn't continue. She knew. "You knew." It isn't a question.

Her tears suddenly start running faster down her cheeks and her voice cracks as she whispers, "I'm sorry" over and over again. Like it could change anything!

Marcel kept saying he wanted to tell me. Did he mean...

"Answer me this one question, Vanessa. Did you tell Marcel not to tell me?" She begins to shake profusely and I don't need to ask again. It's all the answer that I need. "Stop the car, Nessa."

"Lyn, I thought I was helping. I swear I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Stop the damn car! Whether I found out when it just happened or years from now it would still hurt! It would still feel like salt on a really bad wound because damn it, Nessa, I can't stop loving him! You're supposed to be my best friend, how could you not know that? How could you do this?" I hadn't realized she had stopped the car and that tears were now running down my cheeks too.

Shit! This is absolute bullshit! I try to dry my face with the back of my hands. Frustrated, I open the door and step out of the car. Vanessa's​ my best friend but right now I can't even look at her. And that's exactly what I tell her while I pull out my phone to dial the one person who I could talk to that hasn't been lying to me.

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"Yes, Mom, I'm fine. I'll call you later, okay? Yeah I love you too." I hang up and turn my phone off. I take another swing of the drink Nick poured me.

When I called him after my blowout with Vanessa asking if he was busy, he replied by asking me what was wrong. I guess my voice had sounded that bad as much as I tried to disguise it and suck up the tears. Nick saw right through it. Vanessa had insisted that she stay while I waited on the lonely highway for him to come get me. All the time I pretended she didn't even exist. It killed me. But it cut like a knife to even look at her.

"So what do you want to do? We could watch chick flicks while you bawl your eyes out." Nick pipes up. When I don't respond he adds, "Or have you done enough of that?"

I take​ a longer swing of my drink. "I have. Because I'm stupid." I shake my head.

"Hey, you're not stupid. And if I ever hear you say that again, I swear I'll pop that guy's neck. Or even Vanessa's, that Lee guy's, heck even that pregnant chick's."

I gasp as I bolt upright in Nick's loveseat. I barely register that he catches my drink before it reaches the ground.

"Hey, I was kidding. I'm-"

Pregnant chick. Ariel Evans.

Everything starts to flash across my mind. That first time I heard her name I thought it sounded vaguely familiar to me. He'd mentioned her name before.

The morning of my birthday when I asked where everyone was... Ariel went for a check up at Dr. van Hale.

The visit to Dr. van Hale's office.... you've missed another appointment...Miss Evans has already..."

He's the absentee father...If I did my baby's daddy would be around more...

"Oh my God. I really am dense."

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A/N

Aww Lyn. Finally, right? It's time she figured everything out. Well not everything. ;-)

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Love

TT