Anastasia

Seven

'It was horrible.

I've been introduced to many men, but Bradley was something else.

I don't like jumping to conclusions, but he was slimy.

He would've violated me if he had the chance. It's a bold statement to make. It's a true statement.

I don't understand why my mother doesn't see. None of this is helping me. Talking about things will help.

Predatory men will keep me from ever speaking to another man.'

Anastasia sighed and rested her head on her pillow.

She didn't want to cluster men in one group because of Bradley. They weren't all like them.

'On a brighter note, a strangely brighter note, Austin was entertaining.

I can't cluster all men in one group because, in the same afternoon, I was pleasantly surprised by Austin's company.

Sophie and her friends were quite rude to him. I couldn't stand to hear it.

He went outside and I followed him. He thought I was going to be rude as well.

I surprised myself by sitting on the grass beside him. I just couldn't let him feel alone. I know what it's like and it's not a good feeling.

Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like had Benjamin not passed away.

Maybe we would've sat on the grass together. Maybe he would've stood up for Austin as well.

I miss him.

I really do.

One day, I'll understand why everything happened the way it did. I still wonder if we were ever meant to be.'

Anastasia slammed her notebook shut and breathed shakily.

She didn't need to be going there.

She was afraid to finally ask God that question and find that He would say, "No."

It would crush her.

"I have to stop thinking this way." She shook her head and lay down.

Resting would help.

"Lord, give me sunshine and hope. I know I'll never have what my mother desires for me, but I can be glad. You've been faithful to me daily. I know You'll do this for me." She whispered before turning off her light.

-

"Cupcake! You turned in early yesterday." Amadeus said as he squeezed Anastasia in a hug.

She nodded against his chest and yawned. "I did. I didn't have the most pleasant experience with one of Mother's choice men,"

Diana pursed his lips. "Bradley said you enjoyed him. I just think you don't want to admit it, darling." She sang knowingly.

Anastasia shivered as she recalled the man's predatory ways. "He lied to you, Mother. I told him the truth. I don't want another man. He seemed about as understanding as you've been,"

"Now, Anastasia, I've only been looking out for you. I want you to be in love again. You're twenty-two. Since you haven't been putting effort into finding love, I've done it for you. You should be grateful,"