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Chapter 47 - "Then I can kiss you again."

Last chapter, warning: it's freaking long.

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Donovan's morning routine was completely second nature to him that he could have done it half asleep, even after skipping it for a week with the school taking a short break. He wasn't half asleep as he stood before his mirror, tying his school tie, but he wasn't consciously aware of his motions.

He thought of returning to Hamilton, returning to Carter.

In the week break, Donovan hadn't contacted her at all, besides his first message saying Link needed him to process everything. Carter had said to tell her if they ever needed her but didn't push for any more contact.

A whole week of sitting beside Link as he tried to deal with being the target of the attack, of having Mason know who he was, of being in front of his father and unable to hug him. The emotions had swung from anger to grief to numbness.

Though Donovan knew Carter would be understanding of Link's pain, Donovan knew that this was a six-year path they'd already been walking on together, alone. Adding a third person at a vulnerable time didn't feel like the best thing for Link.

Though Donovan wouldn't say it aloud, he thought it was the best thing for Carter and him as well.

With space, he was able to take a step back and analyze the whole situation. He knew his emotions for Carter had been developing since the second day he knew her, but he had no clue when Carter's emotions had changed towards him.

Had he been able to see as she shifted from closed-off to more open to friendly to slightly more trusting? Yes, but deeper emotions than that? No, he didn't know when they came or if they had at all.

Because he knew something he didn't know if she did: high-stress situations with fear and adrenaline often bonded people together and often made them believe what they felt for each other was something deeper than what it really was: a survival tactic.

Not knowing if Carter ever felt something more than friendship towards him, Donovan didn't know if he could trust the feelings that had appeared out of nowhere from her. For both their sakes, he knew space would either help her see the emotions were only adrenaline induced or they had been there, simply silent.

Part of Donovan feared that it might have been the adrenaline.

But if that was true, then he knew he'd accept it and deal with his own emotions. He wouldn't let Carter feel pressured because of what he felt. His emotions were his own to handle and contain. Just because he had them didn't mean he needed to put them on someone when they weren't wanted.

He would let Carter and her actions show him where he stood with her. After that... he would figure it out. He'd been lonely before he met her. After her...

He would be fine.

"Ready?" Link asked.

Donovan blinked and realized that he'd completed his entire morning routine to the point of showing up in Link's apartment to get him and hadn't registered any of what he was doing.

He focused on Link and shoved all his thoughts and emotions away, he still had a job.

"Are you?" Donovan asked, squeezing Link's shoulder.

Link looked like he'd been through an emotional battle the last week but there was also a peace to him that came at the end of the war.

"Yeah, let's go."

Neither of them spoke on the drive there and when they entered the school, Link paused. Donovan did nothing but stand right beside him, his arm touching Link's.