My Summer Love

Dr. Adams

Chapter 20

ZENITH

I sit in Dr. Adams office waiting for her to arrive. Our session was scheduled for 2:30, but she is running behind.

I started coming here when I came to live with Cathy and John. It was part of the court order when they became my official legal guardians to make sure that I got help with my mental health. It had taken me a while to open up to her about my past, but I eventually did, and she was able to help me get past it for a time.

Since breaking up with Reina, I have just been spiraling out of control. I used to be able to keep my past locked away in a hidden part of my brain. But now it is back full force, and no matter how I try and distract myself, nothing helps.

Reina called and messaged me so many times that I ended up turning off my phone. If I hadn't, I would have given in and answered her. I really wanted to answer. But I know I can't. She is better off without me. She is safer that way. Even though leaving her hurt like hell, I couldn't bear it if I lost her because of some idiot with a knife.

The door of Dr. Adam's office opens, and she steps into the room with a warm smile on her face.

"It has been a while, Zenith."

I give her a tight-lipped smile back.

"Sorry I'm late."

She crosses the room and sits in her armchair across from me with a notebook in her hands.

"What's going on, Zenith?"

I shake my head and shrug, feeling suddenly overwhelmed.

"Cathy says that your nightmares are back?"

I nod.

"Okay then, let's talk about that. Who are you seeing this time?"

I stare at my hands in silence.

"Zenith, look at me."

I slowly raise my eyes to look at her.

"You're safe here. You always have been. That hasn't changed." She gives me a small smile.

I swallow hard.

"I-I see Reina."

"Reina, Cathy mentioned her. Is she special to you?"

"She was..."

"Was?" Dr. Adam's gives me her full attention.

"She is special to me. But I had to let her go."

"Why is that Zenith?"

I shake my head.

"Because I'm a danger to her."

"Zenith-"

"No," I interrupt her, "Because of me, she could have been killed." My voice shakes.

Dr. Adam's is silent for a moment.

"What happens to Reina in your dreams?"

I release a heavy sigh as the scene flashes through my mind.

"She dies." I almost whisper the words.

"How does she die?"

I swallow.

"My father. He kills her. It used to be my mother, who he killed every time while I stood by helplessly." My eyes well up with tears, "but now it's her, and no matter how hard I try, I can't save her."

The tears fall while I look at the floor.

"Zenith, look at me," I bring my eyes up to her again while swatting away my tears.