Midsummer's Magic

Chapter 16

Chapter 16 

Beth and Liam sat like a pair of bookends at either end of the sofa, sipping their coffee and studiously not making eye contact. 

Eventually, Liam shifted his position to face Beth and cleared his throat. "Look, Beth, perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all, I'm not good at this sort of stuff..." 

His voice trailed off, and he looked away embarrassed. 

"No!" she replied sharply, which made Liam pull back quickly, nearly spilling his drink. Taking a few deep breaths to quell the anger that was bubbling under the surface, she tried again. "Sorry, Liam, I didn't mean to shout. It's just that this whole situation is confusing and embarrassing for both of us. But I need to know what this is about and see if we can fix it. I like it here, and I really don't want to leave. To be perfectly honest with you, I'm tired of running." 

She surprised herself with that last statement but realised that it was true, she was beginning to feel at home in her cosy cottage and had no desire to leave. 

Liam sat in silence, staring at his cup, and she started to think that, perhaps, the connection she had felt between them in the lane had disappeared. 

Finally, he looked up, and she could see that he was struggling to decide whether to stay or go. She could read such a mix of emotions in his eyes and began to understand that, like her, he had kept everything locked up inside for too long. She still wasn't sure if she was willing to share everything with him, but she wanted to try and help ease his pain. 

Making up her mind, she stood up. "Well, I don't know about you, but I think I need something a bit stronger than coffee if I am going to face my demons. I have wine or brandy, which would you prefer?" 

His head jerked up as if he had been miles away. "Uh, brandy would be good, thanks." 

Beth grabbed the brandy and two glasses from the kitchen and set them on the table. She poured a healthy measure for both of them and sat with her legs tucked underneath her on the sofa. 

Liam took a large slug of his drink and felt the burn at the back of his throat as it made its way down. The warming sensation was comforting, and he felt his body relax a little. He looked at Beth, and she gave him a reassuring smile. "You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but I promise, if you decide to trust me, I won't ever repeat our conversation to another living soul." 

He took another drink, swallowed it down, and began to speak quietly. 

"Up until the accident, I was living a charmed life. My parents were wonderful and supported my brother and I in anything we wanted to do. Rhys was always interested in the farm, and being the eldest, was happy with the prospect of one day taking over from our father. While he was working with dad, I went off to Uni and studied architecture. I would come home in the holidays and spend my time at the beach surfing and partying. I had planned to spend the year after graduation travelling, then come back and find a job. Rhys met a girl and fell in love. They were engaged and already living at the farm with my parents. My father was renovating a cottage at the edge of our land. He planned to move there with my mother after the wedding so that Rhys could take over the running of the farm." 

He stopped talking and stared at his drink. Beth thought he didn't want to go on but he took a large gulp of brandy and continued. 

"That all changed on the 7th of June, four years ago." His breath hitched, and she could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Leaning forward, Beth laid a hand on his, trying to give what comfort she could. He twitched slightly at her touch but made no move to pull away. 

"My mum wanted us all to go the Royal Cornwall Show, she begged me to go with them for a family day out. I wasn't interested, I had plans to go surfing in Newquay and then on to a beach party. I was more interested in getting laid than going for a family day out." He almost snarled the last sentence with a look of distaste on his face. Then his face twisted in pain as he almost whispered the next words. "They went to the show, and I went to the beach. That was the last time I saw them alive." 

He leant forward and refilled his glass with shaking hands. Taking a few gulps, he sat back against the pillows of the sofa, one arm across his face.  

Beth studied him in silence, her heart breaking to see such a strong man broken by what fate had thrown at him. She thought carefully about what she should say to him, not wanting to hurt him, but on the other hand, she felt it was wrong that he was punishing himself for what happened. 

"I understand what you're going through, Liam." He opened his mouth to speak, probably going to dismiss her sympathy as empty platitudes, but she continued before he got a chance. "Those aren't just empty words, Liam, I really do know what you're going through. But you can't put your life on hold over something that was beyond your control." 

He lowered his arm and glared at her, his cheeks wet with the tears he was trying to hide. "You really don't understand, I should have been with them. How can I just carry on when I should be dead too? The only thing I can do to make it up to them is concentrate on keeping the farm going, nothing else matters." His voice was harsh and bitter. 

"No! You're wrong. That's not what your parents would want, and you know it, deep down. If anything, they would want you to live life to the full, making the most of every day. They would want you to be happy." She tried to reach out and wipe the tears away with her thumb, but he pushed her hand away roughly. 

"I thought you said you understood?" he snarled, "But you don't get it at all, you have no idea! You're just like the rest, give me a bit of comfort and worm your way into my bed. I'm sure you've already been told what a great catch I am!" 

His words stung, and she felt as if he had slapped her in the face. She bit her lip, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall, so she lashed out. 

"You arrogant bastard, who are you to judge me? I don't want anything from you. You're so busy wallowing in your own self-pity and bitterness, you have no idea how I feel." She filled her glass and took several large slugs of brandy, needing to feel the burn, hoping it would make her stronger. 

"You are lucky!" she yelled at him. 

"What? How can you say that?" he shouted back. 

"You had a family that loved you every day of your life until they were taken away from you. Yes, that hurts, but you should cherish what you had, not dwell on what you lost!" She stood over him, her fists clenched as tears started to stream down her face. 

He looked at her, his eyes searching her face trying to understand what she was saying. She was desperately trying to hold it together, but the gut wrenching sense of loss for what she never had torn her insides apart and she crumpled in front of him. 

He reached out and caught her before she hit the floor, pulling her into his arms. 

"Tell me what you mean, what happened to you, Beth?" he whispered in her ear. 

"My mother," she sobbed as her body shook. "She loved my father so much. He was her life, and I thought they were so happy." Her voice wobbled again, and she sniffed. 

"Then one day, he left us, just disappeared, and my mother was heartbroken. She buried herself in bottles of booze and pills. I had to look after myself as she lost interest in everything. Then one day I came home from school..." Her body started shaking again as more tears fell. "I found her in the bath, she had slit her wrists." Her voice was a whisper now, not wanting to hear the words. "She must have been there all afternoon, all I could see was a bath filled with blood. She didn't love me enough to stay!" 

She buried her head in his chest and let it all out, her body shaking as she cried uncontrollably. He just sat quietly holding her, his mind full of the images she had described and a deep sadness for the child that was abandoned by her mother. 

Pulling his legs up onto the sofa, he eased her up onto him, making them more comfortable. He held her until she started to relax and the sobs and shudders became few and far between. Finally, exhaustion took over and she fell asleep. 

He was feeling the effects of the brandy, and the mental exhaustion of what they had shared. As his eyes drifted closed, he realised that she was right. He was the lucky one.