I watched intently as he flicked the cigarette to life. The cigarette was balancing delicately between his lips, his lips shimmering from a wet sheen of saliva. He lay back down on the bed.
It was 6:37, the sun had already set, and we were here, in the dark, none of us willing to flick the lights on. Nobody cared anyway.
“i was proud of you tonight.” he whispered, blowing a pint of smoke from his lips.
“proud? But I didn't do anything.”
“You stood up to your father didn't you?” he said,“that counts as something.”
“it was no big deal.” I meekly said, feeling the praise from Jake wash over my cheeks.
“it wasn't, but I didn't know you had that in you.”
“You know, they showed up at my door, looking for you,” he said,“the fact that I didn't know where you were at that time was kind of scary...”
He passed the cig to me, and I sucked on it with gusto before I hurled into a fit of coughs.
“careful...” he said with a half smile,“is this your first time smoking?” he took the cigarette back.
“no, actually my second.”
He didn't seem to believe that, but nodded anyway.
“you wanna know why I picked that outfit for you?” he asked.
“i wanted you to make a statement. If I hadn't done that you could've probably shown up in a suit or something.”
“but I don't have a suit.” I chuckled.
“Exactly.” he said and to my surprise, turned his head to mine, smoke full.on his mouth, and once our lips made contact,he blew the smoke in my mouth.
I didn't cough this time.
Jake seemed to smile at that fact.
“I don't think I would've been able to stand up to my old man like that.” he said, blowing a big blob of smoke in the air, and ashing it out on the nightstand.
“why?”
“My old man was brutal. He was just like yours but without the religion thing.” he spoke.
“He used to beat up my brothers all the time, and they had beards and goatees. I was so scared of him...still am.”
He dropped the remaining piece of cig on the nightstand.
Jake grabbed my head and directed it to his lap. And just like that, my head was on his lap as he played with my hair. Am I sure this isn't some elaborate ruse to snap my neck and end my life?
Nah.
“i remember when he caught me with some kid named Caleb, four years older than me making out in my room. He beat me with his belt so bad, I couldn't walk straight for a week.”
We both laughed at the last statement.
“He told me if I ever became a fag, he would kill me and bury me in our backyard, in an unmarked grave.”
I heard him sniffle a bit after that.
I felt remorse. And kind of understood why Jake turned out the way he did. I knew a little bit about Jake's life, just a shard that I'm sure nobody else knew. That made me feel special.
I sat up, and gave him a big hug. We didn't move from that position for five whole minutes.
‡‡ the next morning....
