We got to the hospital three hours later. I didn't even have the courage to go into his room, or ask the doctors what's going to happen to him. I just stood there, breathing shakily, until Kain engulfed my handbin his and suddenly I remembered that I wasn't alone. Not anymore.
“how about you inform anyone you need to, then inquire about your dad... okay?”
I obliged, like a puppy serving it's master as I squeezed myself into a stained wall.
Grey was the first person I called. He was frantic, but caring and promised to be here as soon as he could. My fingertips shook as they hovered over my mother's contact. I wondered if she knew. Maybe she was the first to know. But the fact that she hadn't communicated yet was weird because she's the kind of person to pull from people's energy during tough times. I rang her several times, but she didn't pick up. Maybe she was struggling with the news like I was. I didn't think much of it and figured she'd call me sooner or later.
The last person I thought to call was Jake. I didn't want him to jump to conclusions. Or go beserk over nothing. I dialed his number, and it rang a couple of times before someone switched it to video call. The better. So he could clearly see I'm in the hospital.
But the first thing I saw wasn't Jake's handsome, ruggedy face. No, it was a butt. A big chocolate, round one. And clearly, the surface or was on was shaking like crazy. No. No. I tried to convince my mind not to make assumptions, but I couldn't stop my thoughts from wandering.
Then moans of faster Jakey! and harder! could be heard in high pitched volumes. Then my thoughts wandered and wandered far. But that was obviously Kamila moaning her ass off. Then they stopped, and there was a bit of mumble before Jake took the phone, and I saw his distraught face. Then I hang up. But not before I murmured “Fuck you” to his face.
I was beyond pissed. I thought he had changed. I thought I left the old player, toxic Jake Oliver behind. But the past is beginning to catch up. I could feel the veins pop up in my face. And my fists clenched. I rushed past Kain, despite him trying to stop me with his big, bulky body.
I rushed to the bathroom, looked at the mirror, and cried. My blurry mascara, baggy eyes and chapped lips were nothing short of embarrassing. My blonde hair was dishevelled and held in a messy ponytail. Maybe this is why I've never been enough for him. I've always been a hot mess. I'm not pretty enough. I'm an emotional mess. Maybe that's why he keeps hurting me. Because I'm nothing. I don't mean anything. I'm nothing.
I found myself crying. Heaving, clutching my stomach in pain. Somehow, this time hurt more than the other times. One more time, I looked myself in the mirror and promised myself I wouldn't cry over him again. I felt my heart freeze and harden. I was done. For good this time.
I found Kain waiting for me right there. He immediately engulfed me.
“what's wrong Dim?” he inquired,“isbit because of your dad? Because I asked the doctors and they told me he's out of danger....”
“it's nothing.” I cut him off.
I finally had the courage to go in my dad's room. And talk to the doctors, all that shit. I felt numb to everything.
I walked in and immediately welcomed by the harsh smell of antiseptics. His kinda skeletal body was laying there, a bunch of tubes circumnavigating in and out of him. His face was frozen, lifeless, a big tube coming out of his mouth. The only sound that could be heard was the beeping of the heart rate monitor and my harsh breathing.
I felt Kain's hand hold mine with such tender care and warmth. And right then, a doctor came to update us on his condition. And as I dreaded, the medical bill. And told me if I didn't pay atleast half the bill by next week, they might stop tending to him.
