Nadia wondered when it all started.
Was it because of her jealousy towards Trisha? Or her fake feelings she deemed real towards the male lead, Kahill?
Or was it because ever since she was born, she got everything she wanted? Maybe it was because she was immature and spoiled.
It was probably the moment when she realized that she was just a mere character of a novel.. written by the hands of an author.
All she ever wanted after knowing the reason for her existence was peace.
And also death.
*GASP*
As if her body was struck by lightning, Nadia woke up in an abrupt manner.
"My lady? You're awake! I will call his highness!"
Horen ran off on her own, leaving Nadia inside the room.
*Clack*
Nadia got up from her bed and looked in the mirror.
It was her. The same appearance she had when she was around twenty-one years old.
She looked at the calendar.
[ 1st day of spring year 512 ]
"What the f'ck is this?" She gasped in disbelief.
All the things thay happened to her... She didn't know if it was real or she was just getting crazy. Maybe all of it was just an illusion.
She truly hoped that she would die after hearing those gods' conversation. They were playing with her.
She doesn't know what to do anymore.
Nadia has all the problems she could have but never the solution. She never knew the answer since all the leads and assumption she believed in were gone without a trace.
She's living but at the same time she's dead. She's alive but she cannot die. If she dies she'll come back to life again. And if she's alive, she's bound to die temporarily either way.
No one could save her from this hell.
"Nadia."
The voice of her father echoed in her ears.
Nadia looked at the man who raised her.
"You shouldn't have had me." She muttered.
The archduke was in disbelief. He probably heard it wrong. "What are you saying?"
"You shouldn't have married my mother. I shouldn't have been born. This is all your fault. Right.. you're the reason why I'm experiencing this hell.
You shouldn't have existed." Nadia said it straight to his father's face.
Horen had a shocked expression. But it was Nadia's father who was more shocked.
*Slap!*
"Kill me. Please kill me."
"Horen. Get her a doctor. My daughter is not in her right mind."
"Y-Yes, your highness."
....
"How are you feeling, my lady?"
As the doctor asked a question, Nadia just contiunued to space out, looking thr distance from afar. She wasn't listening at all.
She was in her own world.
"My lady, is there something you want to do?"
Without moving her head and body, Nadia transferred her gaze to the doctor. She was like a doll.
"Kill me."
"I cannot do that, my lady."
"You're wasting your time." Nadia looked outside the windows again.
".....I will take my leave."
The doctor kept her notes and started packing up.
Meanhwile, her father entered her room. "What's wrong with her?"
"..I'm afraid lady Nadia is having severe suicidal issues. So much that she could stare into nothingness and sink herself into such thoughts. She was unresponsive during the whole session and if she answered, she wants to be killed. I suggest keeping an eye on her in case she does something to herself."
"You may go."
"Thank you, your highness."
The doctor left the room and the archduke couldn't help but sigh in depression. "I raised you wrong."
Nadia looked at him. "Then kill me. Kill me!"
"Stop this. I'm tired."
"No.. I'm the one who's tired. Why does this keep happening to me.. I just want to disappear. Help me. Kill me." Her expression was clouded with anger and desperation. Tears escaped her lifeless eyes as she looked at her father.
"Suit yourself."
*Clack*
Nadia didn't know what to do anymore.
Because even if she were to kill herself right now, she would end up living again anyways. How do she get rid of this loop?
*Knock* *Knock*
"Sister Nadia."
Eunid walked into her room.
As Nadia saw him, a realization struck her.
Why does Eunid always seem to appear before her?
"I brought you medicine."
"Eunid."
"Yes?"
"Who are you?"
Eunid stopped his steps.
"You are favored by death but coveted by life itself."
She suddenly remembered something the old woman said to her.
"I.. I don't understand." He averted his gaze, as if he was feeling guilty.
Nadia got up and grabbed his collars.
Her eyes were filled with frustration.
"Tell me.
Are you the f'cking problem that keeps me from dying?"
YOU ARE READING
The Goal Is To Die
FantasyNadia Augusten was born a villainess. She was fed with a golden spoon and was provided with everything she needed. Everything she wants, she gets. She's known as the wicked princess of the empire. And that wickedness led to her dire sufferings. "Wh...
