Chapter XXXIII - the start of our story

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Lucifer's POV

I was standing in the corner of her living room again.

"I guess it didn't work, huh? That's too bad then." She said, setting the summoning book aside before lifting Luna onto her lap.

I watched her sitting there, oblivious to what could have been as all our memories flashed through my mind. Memories that no longer exist.

I wanted to say something, to tell her I was here, to let everything that had happened in the next two weeks happen again. But I wanted to keep her safe more than anything else. And the only way I could do that, was by staying away.

"I don't have a date, so..." Luna let out a meow. "Bye bye free vacation." She sighed.

A smile crept its way up my lips as I watched her, all sad and gloomy about the trip. How I wanted to have her in my arms, comfort her when she was sad, to be able to tell her everything would be all right.

We should be talking about what's going to happen after my wedding, how we'll keep in contact, occasional visits, things like that.

It's funny how I thought we'd actually have a future together.

But that's not how our story ends.

The only way I could keep her safe, safe from Amari, safe from the mess I dragged her into, was to make sure our story never started. 

I'll suffer for the rest of eternity, a life without her, if it means she'll be okay.

Maybe it would be better if I erased my own memories, the pain that came with knowing we could never happen. I thought about all the moments we've had, the sunset, the dancing, the little things and how she made me feel, how soft her hands felt in mine, the way her arms wrapped around me and the way she made me smile. 

I can't forget, I won't. Even if she's just in my mind, it's enough for me. I'm glad I got to meet her even if this is how it ends.

I watched as she grumbled, pulling out her phone to call Leslie.

This is the last time I'll ever be seeing her again.

I tried to memorise every single one of her features, burn them into my mind. The way her eyes twinkle when she's excited, the way her lips slowly curl up into a grin, the way she blushes when she's shy and the sound of her laughter.

She could make me smile during the worst of my moods, she was all I could think about these past few weeks and I doubt the future will be any different. I just won't be able to wake up beside her anymore or tease her when she's shy or just have someone to talk to.

Somehow from being nothing to each other but a convenience, she became something I needed and craved. I want her by my side.

I didn't know I was crying as I watched her get up to leave the room.

It's time to go, before I do something I shouldn't.

I'll miss her, so so much.

I wish there was another way. Maybe in another life we'll have our happy ever after, but in this life, there's nothing else I can do.

"Goodbye... my love."

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