Envious Desire /bkdk/

CHAPTER FOUR

Izuku

Todoroki and I made it official. He asked me out again and I screamed out yes. He's perfect, he's kind and so thoughtful. Ochako supports us fully and can't stop talking about how cute we are. Shoto hasn't been able to let me go either. Not in a bad way, not really, but he just hasn't given me any space. He always comes to my dance practices when he's free, is with me after school, at lunch, he's always there. Honestly, I can't complain at all. We're in the honeymoon phase and he is very good with what he's doing. This boy kisses so softly and sweetly. He savors every moment.

I haven't seen Katsuki since that encounter by the piano a month ago. Well that's a lie, I see him in class but I completely ignore him and he ignores me. Not a single word said and that's how I like it. He has such a temper. Super annoying. Yeah, totally.

In the month Shoto and I've been together I started feeling this need. We make out all of the time, but it's always soft. He always touches me so lightly as if he isn't even there. I need to take control most of the time because he doesn't. I like him like this, he doesn't need to change, never. But I do admit that I have bigger needs and it's hard to deal with if he doesn't feel the same. I know we haven't been together for long and this is my first real relationship. Yes, I'm a virgin but I kind of thought he'd try to make change in that.

Today, I want to talk to him about it. I'm meeting him at his dorm after practice. I decided to take a shower and do the whole shaving routine. I mean you never do know. Not that I needed to, but I wanted to feel soft for him. He likes me soft.

I put on some tight fitting light blue shorts and an oversized t-shirt. Spraying new perfume on my neck, wrists and knees, I leave.

I feel really nervous as I knock on his door. You can do this, it's your boyfriend. It's all going to be okay.

"Midoriya" He smiles and steps away so I can enter.

"Hi, Sho" I take a seat on his bed and pat the place beside me.

"Are you okay? Is there something wrong?" His hand traces circles on my back. I wish he'd just pull me into his arms.

"Not really. I just wanted to talk to you about something." He hums and I cross my legs to sit in front of him. I place my hands on his.

"I-I have been wondering if, well I don't really know how to say this, wanted to go a bit further with me? I j-just noticed that you're very careful and that's totally okay! But I feel like I'm ready for you, all of you. I really like you, Shoto" I confess, a small blush on my face.

"Wow, if I'm honest with you, I have been thinking about it a lot too." I want to say something, but his lips smashes on mine.

"A-are you sure?" I ask as he lays on top of me, my legs spread under him.

He doesn't answer and slowly wanders his hands from my ankles to my hip. I feel faint and I don't know what's wrong with me. He's giving me and wanting what I want right? Why do I feel like this?

He suddenly squeezes my waist extremely hard and I yelp! "Wait-" He kisses me, all bite and teeth, his other hand moving towards my throat and squeezing. It stings and it's hard to breathe. He bites my lip and I taste iron in my mouth.

"I have been holding back so much, Midoriya. I want to break you apart." He growls in my ear and I feel frightened.

"Stop!"

I scream and push him away. He looks at me bedazzled, face angry and confused. "I thought this was what you wanted?" He tries to keep going but I push and push till I'm on my feet and running out the door.

What the hell is wrong with me? This is what I wanted right? Isn't it?

I know what a panic attack feels like when it's happening. He's running behind me, asking what's wrong and trying to keep up. I don't even know where I'm going, my head is spinning and I've already passed my dorm.