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⚠️Tw: Violent boyfriend and sexual agression

Esteban pov :

He had changed, he would make efforts, he loved me... It's what he told me, and I believed him. I was still loving him. So I came back with him.

And he wasn't lying, he really tried to be less jealous, to make efforts. He was like when I met him and fell in love with him. He was like before, and my heart fell for him a second time, forgetting all the things he did to me... for the third time. But I really believe it was different this time.

But it wasn't.

Gradually he started to compare me to some random boys, like they were stronger, more sexy or whatever, but it was always discreetly,  subtly. 
In the same way he told me that he would love to see me in another style of clothing and if I was skinnier I would be so much more beautiful. And to not disappoint him I changed , thinking it was my own choice but it wasn't really my choice.

I know some of the boys remarked that I had changed , physically but also mentally, I was more discreet and avoided them most of the time. Things were easy, they were still angry at me since the start of the year.

Theo and Romain tried to talk to me about this but I told them it was my decision to change, and the worth it was that I was convinced it was true...

I was also convinced that he let me the choice, to send him nudes or to had sex with him but in facts he let me the choice but put pressure on me with things like play with my emotions or if it didn't work told me that he would go fuck with another or that he would find a men who wasn't egoist...

And at the end he didn't even ask me.

Today was Valentine's Day and he brought me on a date. He buys me flowers, take me out to a beautiful and delicious restaurant. It was really amazing, and all was good. He didn't make any remarks to me or other guys, and he was really nice.

But as soon as we go back home it becomes hell. I was tired and wanted to sleep but he didn't want to let me. He said that I should  be more respectful towards him, that he deserves that I gave him some pleasure. That it was my job, I was only a whore and should be happy that he was with me...

He yelled at me, and at the same time raped me and beat me for maybe 3 hours...
And at the end he left the house,letting me alone dying and just before he left he told me he was going to see someone else, someone better than me, who will let him fuck him...

I don't know how long he's gone but all I think is how dumb I was to come back to him... Theo was right... People like him never change.

I decide to just close my eyes and let myself die. Luke was right. I don't deserve to live, I'm too dumb for this. And I'm sure nobody will mind if I die, maybe Theo will but he's strong, he will be fine. Anyway I can't do anything, I'm alone, my body hurts so much that I can barely move and breathe.

So I close my eyes to stop the suffering, and never wake up.

But as soon as I close my eyes the picture of Lance and Mick appears in my mind. And it gives me the courage to try to stay alive for them... even if they don't talk to me anymore...

I succeed , with a lot of difficulties, to find and take my phone, which was thrown to the floor across the room by Luke to make sure I wouldn't be able to search him and call help. But I manage to retrieve it crawling, with difficulty and pain, on the floor.

Still laying on the floor, breathing hard and without any strength left, I take my phone and call someone without knowing who as my vision is blurry.

-Oui Esteban?