The Villainess Next Life (COMPLETED)

Chapter 46

That day, the whole palace rejoice from welcoming the three of them. There prepared meals as if it was a feast. Emery and Ember were both adored by the maids and knights. 

Nicholas insisted that they stay in the Emperor's palace for that night. The children surprisingly became close to the Emperor despise not knowing that Nicholas was their father. They just know that he is the kind Emperor who saved them from danger. It must've been blood ties. 

After they ate their dinner, Nicholas called her to his office. The children were now sleeping in the Emperor's chamber. They must be very tired from all that happened.

The moment she steps inside the office, she felt a rush of nostalgia. Everything looks the same yet feels different. There was no place in this room that is untouched by her. She felt at home and yet felt like a stranger in the place. 

She really wonders how two contradicting emotions was running through her system all at once. 

Once the door is shut, they came face to face each other. Ah, it's been years since he had seen his beautiful face. 

"Why?" He asked blankly

Alarice sighed.

"You know exactly why, Your Majesty." she said

"I could've protected you." he said as if accusing her

Alarice smiled bitterly.

"You never chose me, Nicholas. You never did prioritize me. You always only see me once I escape your grasp. Should I always get away from you so you will prioritize me?" she said looking straight at his eyes

He looked away looking hurt while biting his lips seemingly holding back his tears.

"Whatever my decision is, please remember that you pushed me to do it. All these years you never really choose me. You left us in that battlefield when I was hoping that you'll come for me. You let other people sway your decision for me with sympathy. You know that leaving me unattended away from the palace is the easiest way for me to die-"

She was cut off when Nicholas suddenly grabbed her in her shoulders. She looked at his crying face painted by anger, frustration, disappointment and pain.

"Stop! Just stop! I know it's my fault! I know I was in the wrong! But what can I do?! Who should I choose?! I never asked for this situation! I never-"

"Don't play victim, Nicholas. Everything that's happening is the results of our choice. We are the ones to blame for our own situation. I may have sinned by hiding the twins but that's the best choice for me that time. I cannot risk the lives of my children." Alarice said calmly but with conviction

"Does that mean you won't tell me about them ever? If I didn't happen to read the letter, If Pierre didn't go hunting that day and accidentally caught the messenger bird, if he didn't gave the letter to me, would I have lived my whole life not knowing them?" 

Alarice sighed.

"Yes. I intended to." she said

Nicholas' hands on her shoulders loosened up. He scoffed.

"Do you hate me that much?" he asked 

Hate? Does she still hate him? Surprisingly, she no longer hate him.

"No, It's been years and now I no longer hate you." she said

"Then-"

"But that also means that I no longer feel anything about you. The only reason I'm here is because I no longer have the choice of hiding them. As much as it pains me, they have duties to perform. And I don't want to deprive them of a royal life they deserve." she said

Nicholas felt like a cold water was thrown at him. Her eyes that looked at him warmly once was gone. Now it's just a cold gaze of an empress on the emperor. One who has duties and obligations to perform.

"I will be willing to be crowned the Empress once again. If only for the children. Then  please excuse me, your Majesty." she said. She the

Nicholas was unable to stop her for his body remain frozen. He didn't know what to say. When he learned that his first son was in conspiracy with Alarice in hiding his children, he has a lot of words in his head.

Why did she hide them? Why can't she trust him? Why didn't she tried to talk to him? Why is Mael the only one allowed to see them? Why?

But all those questions were answered that night. He was to blame. All those years together and he made all sorts of things to make her insecure. He did a lot of mistake in making her think that she was the second choice. He was a trash. He did a lot of wrong. 

He didn't learn when Alarice almost died and for the second time, he did something again to loose something so important. Even though she was someone so precious to him.

The moment that he learns that his child died. He was beyond devastated. The cold corpse of a child that he cannot let go. Him keeping the body warm hoping for a miracle to hear its' heartbeat. The nights that he held the child even refusing his duties.

He knows it wasn't normal. He knows he's gone mad. But he cannot just accept it. The child that he wanted the most. A sweet princess that he constantly dreamed of every night. She's now gone.

The last years, there was not a single night that he didn't dream of a sweet little girl holding his hand. She was sweet and so adorable. He used to hang is silly drawings of them as family. In his dreams, she will act spoiled in the dining table refusing to eat vegetables and he will easily yield to her whims but Alarice will scold the both of them, telling him that he's spoing her too much.

In his dreams, Alarice and him will be disturbed by that girl during rainy nights saying that she was scared of thunders so they will invite her to sleep with them. In his dreams, he will watch her first steps and hear her first words. And in his dreams, he will teach her how to use a sword.

He will be an overprotective father to his first princess, refusing any man who would asked for her hand.

But then again, it was all only in his dreams. He will wake up in the morning with wet pillows and a headache. Days are passing by but he kept on feeling tired but he needs to keep on working.

There were times when he will sleep in the moon palace just to alleviate any pain he's feeling. Searching for the warm embrace of the woman he let go. He was just so so so tired.

Not once did he attempt to end his life but he was always caught by Pierre and Caleb. He will always hear Qashanna's weep asking for forgiveness and begging him to come back to his old self but even him don't know who he is anymore.

That was his life for the past years. All of that disappeared instantly when a young girl with golden blonde hair and ocean blue eyes suddenly appeared in the middle of the forest the morning that he was frantically looking at them.

The girl was followed by a boy with silver hair and ocean blue eyes. He knew them. This is the first time that he saw them but it feels like his whole body is screaming on who they are.

He can't help but to get down on his horse and hug them instantly failing hold back his tears.

"Mister, I'm sorry but mother told us not to talk to strangers." the boy said

This is the first time that he heard his voice but it sounds so so familiar. He hugged them even tighter.

"Mrgh! Can't breath." the girl said

He then let go.

"Your Majesty, those children." Pierre who was at the  back said

"Yes. they are." he said holding the two beautiful children's cheeks.

"Nice to meet you." He said

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