84th floor.

Chapter 17

Zade

Its been three weeks since my discharge from the hospital and I was feeling much better physically. I was back to normal basically. Day to day you wouldnt think my girlfriend had stabbed me and tried to kill me over some money. It still hurt bending down and doing little things like tying my shoe laces but for the rest, I was able to maneuver.

My mind has probably never been clearer than it has right now. Leaving behind the drugs, pills and alcohol was the best choice I have made. It was fucking tough growing up which I guess is not a good enough of an excuse to be an asshole all round.

Growing up, I had to mature quickly. Being dragged from one foster carer to another was shitty and I worked my ass off to get my little sister up and the fuck out of there. My friends were terrible I guess, I saw quick and fast money. Maybe I was the terrible friend your parents warned you against. The "wrong crowd". I had survival on my mind and feeding my sister and that landed me in jail. I couldnt even speak to Zara while I was away because I was worried she would clock the state I was in so fast and she would now be worried.

Zara took on a lot of my emotions. But jail was so fucking depressing. I went into zombie mode almost. Couldnt get up off my ass and felt like ending it but the only thing that kept me going was that Zara would have nobody left. Its pretty easy to be on drugs on the inside, probably harder on the outside funny enough. Picked up the worst habit to cope and the minute I stepped out, I attached myself back to Veronica and we made bad decision after bad decision. It was Zara actually who knocked the sense back into me with her silly friend and her bat.

Zara and I had the same habit of attaching ourselves to someone and that took over. It was almost how we survived.. shes done it forever with her boyfriend in the past and so have I with Veronica. Trauma bonded and attached each other to more trauma.

Its like we couldnt live peacefully, we had to cause drama to survive and feel stable. Thanks to my fucked up coke head parents. Zara doesnt remember much, but I do. I was 4 years older than her. They were neglectful pieces of shit.

I was proud of Zara, she had done well for herself. Apart from losing that good job because of her infactuation with Kain. I saw the way she looked at him, as if he was her hero or guardian angel. She spoke about him constantly, mostly pissed at him funny enough. I saw the way he was with her, weird actually seeing someone love the most important person in your life. But both were too childish almost and too absorbed with themselves.

I did not know Zara going to meet up with Benji wasnt known to Kain. When he asked if I had seen her, I told her she went out with some old friends she reconnected with. Zara stomped into the penthouse pissed yelling I should mind my own business.

How was I supposed to know? I couldnt keep up with their drama. Their friend Rose I think has yapped my ear off about their weird friendships and it was concerning how co-dependent they all were on each other.. Funny because all my life I attached to having problems with being poor. Seemed like they came from more fucked up parents and backgrounds. I saw Zara fall into their world. It was even weirder seeing my sister in designer and living high quality life. She pulled her nose at my choice of restaurant (it was a food truck) which made me laugh but also concerned.

After their argument continued for the night, she made Kain sleep on the sofa before he stomped off himself. His brother I think came to tell Zara, Kain had gone to London for work or fashion or something. I couldnt remember his name, but he seemed to be very sympathetic towards Zara. I wondered if he had a thing for her. She swore they were just friends when I asked her. Nothing ever happened between them.

Even without Kain here last few days, his friends were alive and kicking in this penthouse and would often be around. I picked up a lot of things such as Julian seems to be the most sensible one. Kain's brother was very emotional. The one that looks a lot like Julian seems to be floating around in happy spirits and having a good time was his motto. He was inlove with himself. It was odd almost to see sarcastic rude Zara whose fuse ran short in this, yet comforting. She found herself almost a little family?