Teach Me

ten

Ryan's pov

Black Friday

I genuinely felt bad for how I treated Cassidy last night. I've never walked away while she was crying. better yet, I've never even made her cry. I made the decision to text her, I had seen her Dad and basically the entire family walk out to her as I drove away. I knew if I showed up, my funeral would end up being planned too many years early.

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ryan: cass?

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I put my phone down on my nightstand, cupping my hands over my face before standing up. Before my feet touch the ground, there's a knock on my door. I wondered who it was, so I yelled.

"who is it?"

no one answers but they knock again, frantically. I walk over to the door, slightly opening it to see Cassidy. she was in the same clothes as yesterday, mascara staining her cheeks.

"oh cass." I pull her into my room, closing the door behind me before pulling her into an embrace. I could slowly feel her melt into me, as if she longed for my touch.

"ryan." she could barely get it out as she began to sob. "don't ever do that to me again."

I pull her away looking down into her eyes. I stroke her cheek as I wipe her tears. "I will never leave you like that again." I place a lasting kiss on her lips, watching as she opened her eyes when I pulled away.

"you keep telling me you're only stressed but I can't really shake the fact that something else is wrong." she pulls me to my bed so we can sit down. "we've known each other literally forever, I know when something is bothering you and vice versa."

I look down at my feet, knowing what was really bothering me. but I know the fact I was thinking about another girl would never turn out great for me. so I lie, again. a thing I seem to be doing a lot of lately. "I'm starting to think that college isn't for me. when I think I can get a break, they just pile on more onto me. I know that it's all worth it in the end but I'm having a hard time seeing the vision. I want us to have a perfect future, I want us to fulfill our dreams but I'm starting to think this part of the deal is too much for me." I wasn't technically lying.

the room was filled with silence for a long minute, until Cassidy put her hand on my thigh.

"did you forget that I love you? and that no matter what you do, the only thing that matters is that we end up together forever?" she grabs my face, to look at hers.

"sometimes I lose sight of the real goal. I just don't want to hurt you." I sigh, breaking eye contact with her.

she squeezes my face and brings it back to her eye level. "not liking college isn't gonna hurt me. I promise."

I scan her face, all the way down to her lips placing a kiss on them. "I love you Cassidy."

she wraps her arms around my neck, ending up on my lap. "I love you forever, Ryan."

"forever is a long time." I say, looking up at the woman in my lap.

"I know, that's how long I want to be yours." she puts her hand on the back of my neck, massaging it.

I stay silent and hug her body close to mine. I kiss her neck but I break my silence. "how long are you here for?"

"well, I'm supposed to be leaving today. in an hour, I have to go back to work tomorrow." she sighs.

"damn babe, I'm sorry. I spoiled your visit." I poke my lip out, wrapping my arms around her waist as she straddles my waist.

"it's okay, we needed to discuss this. I'm glad we did." she stands up, causing me to frown.