when I was young
I used to think one day
id find the one.
I would dream about my fairytale ending
my true love's kiss
and I would think
"i can't wait"
now I'm fifteen
and I'm not sure any of life is a dream
except maybe when I sleep.
but even then all of my dreams are nightmares.
my heart has loved
enough for four lifetimes
and yet
it has not loved enough.
I fuck it up.
everytime
I fuck it up
I cheat and I lie and I cry until you say it's alright and then I leave and then I just leave and I let you stay where you are alone and on the ground dying by my own touch and I do that
I do that to myself
it's all my own fucking fault
and I can't escape this heart I've been given
the beautiful horrible malfunctioning heart I've been given
and I want to scream
I want to scream until you can hear me
I want to scream until they say "she's mad" and they send me away
maybe
one day
if they send me away
I can save you
from this pain
I can save you from my own damn game
maybe
if I go away
I can save what little I have of you
and you'll be happy.
you'll be happy and I'll be going insane without you.
I need you in my life.
but not to tame.
and definitely not to maim.
please
please
send me away.
it's too late.
i've hurt everyone else i've ever loved
you better run.
YOU ARE READING
butterfly kisses and sorrow misses
Poetryi don't know yet i just need to put these things that are in my head onto paper or i might lose my mind have i already lost it? poems I wrote as the clouds were brewing.
