Human [Harry Styles]

Chapter Twelve.

Marley

            It’s a new day.

            As I slowly ready myself for it, my mind runs over everything in my conversation with Harry the day before.

            Though I have to admit, I am skeptical about how exactly we’re supposed to get everyone to not hate us and understand, I trust Harry. If he says that we can, then I believe him, and will therefore follow through with his ideas.

            First thing, he thinks, is to face up to what we do to hate ourselves. Which means no hateful online research for Harry, and no cowering in public for me.

            In all honesty, I find it remarkable that neither of us could see it in ourselves, yet could so easily in each other. I suppose it just goes to show that it’s really that much easier to know other people more than yourself.

            You can do this, I mutter to myself as I think, gazing at my reflection in the mirror. Just think of Harry. Think of yourself. He’s right.

            Call it the moment of truth; call it whatever you want, but as I step outside that door, feel like this is going to be my defining moment. It’s likely that people I actually know won’t be there to witness it, but this is going to say a lot about me, to myself.

            If I walk out that door and act like the coward I’ve always been, then nothing has changed and I’m just not strong enough. I’ll have failed everyone yet again, more importantly, myself.

            But if I walk out there and hold the glares and don’t let it get to me, then I’m on the road to recovery. I’m actually learning something, being bold and brave enough to continue on with my life. And maybe like Harry said, it’s the first step to getting everyone else to understand.

            By the time I’m actually ready and collected enough to step outside, it’s almost ten in the morning.

            My mildly quiet neighborhood already has people strolling along the sidewalks and cars moving sluggishly down the streets. Being by a street nearly considered a main one, there’s a lot more than the usual hustle and bustle for a Sunday, and it doesn’t help me feel any better about this.

            Closing the door behind me and drawing my scarf tighter around my neck, I walk down the chipped sidewalk, heading for the smaller park nearby. Being towards the end of February, the weather is still beyond chilly, and my breaths create a fine cloud of mist around my head as I go.

            “Marley Sorin…”

            The whisper is just barely audible for me, but as I turn my head to see a middle-aged couple walking by, staring at me, I know it’s them that said it.

            They don’t look even remotely intimidating, possibly more curious than anything, but I still find myself wanting to cower away and hide.

            Don’t you dare, a voice snaps in my head, and I before the couple can vanish, I gather my courage again and shoot them a small smile. Despite the gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach, I force myself to act like nothing is wrong, and this is just a greeting of friendly strangers.

            Instead of shooting me more glares though, I’m surprised to see the couple incline their heads in my direction and smile as well. The man even tips his hat a bit.

            As if I have no control over my body, I’m suddenly stopping as the couple moves onward with their day. I don’t know if it’s shock or something else, but I stand there for God knows how long, just taking that encounter in.