3.6 » land locked

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Kaity sat in the sand, her bare toes digging into the wetness, the cold ocean water rippling over her toes in timed intervals. The moon hung high in the sky, skies dotting the darkness around it. She took a deep breath, the salt stinging her nose.

She tried to find the horizon, but it wasn't visible in the early hours of the morning. She let out a small sigh, watching the white water wash over her feet again; shuffling them back once the water was pulled back to the ocean again.

She was starting to remember again.

She remembered the burning in her lungs, the need for oxygen too strong to ignore. She remembered trying not to scream out as the water swallowed her whole from her wipeout. It reminded her too much of the first time she almost drowned.

The memories haunted her at night when she closed her eyes to sleep. She tried to will herself to not have them, but in the end, she'd wake up gasping for air, a thick sheen of sweat coating her body. Luke would wake up with her, smoothing the hair off her chest and whispering into her ear that she was safe.

He'd kiss between her shoulder blades, trying to anchor her to the moment and pull her from the aftershocks of the nightmare. He'd wipe the tears from her eyes, telling her how much he loved her.

But none of it made her feel better.

She would hiccup a few times before she flicked the covers off of her, leaving behind a confused Luke in bed. For some reason, she only found solace by sitting in front of the ocean itself – the very thing she was afraid of.

She sat in front of the water, far enough away that the waves would kiss her feet and then retreat. It was in the quiet moments where Kaity could only hear the roar of the ocean that she could breathe normally again.

"Are you okay?" Luke asked, taking his seat in the sand beside her. Kaity knew that he wouldn't be far behind. He always came after her when she fled the bed to come out and sit by the ocean.

His hair was disheveled from sleep, dark bags hanging beneath his eyes. He didn't bother to slip on a shirt before he followed Kaity outside.

She curled her lips in, not having an exact answer for him. She wanted to tell him she was okay, she really did but she just couldn't bring herself to answer him. She shrugged, a small laugh escaping her lips.

Luke draped his arm across Kaity shoulders, pulling her into him. "I don't want to be scared of the water," Kaity admitted. "Sometimes I just wanna ask the ocean why it won't let me love it," she said. That's what she thought about the most when she sat beneath the stars.

So many other could enjoy the festivities that the ocean granted them, why couldn't she?

Luke was silent for a moment before he started rubbing her arm gently. "Sometimes you have to fight for what you love," he said, his lips resting against her forehead as he spoke. "I just think that maybe it's testing you, seeing how far it can push you before it let's you in."

Kaity let out another sigh, letting his words sink in. "I don't know what else I can do," she whispered, watching the water inch its way up to their bare feet again, desperately trying to wash over their toes but not quite making it. "I've tried so hard already."

"I know, baby," Luke answered, squeezing her tight again. She tried to blink away the tears that were collecting in her eyes, but one of them blazed a trail down her cheek. She swiped it away angrily. "We'll work on it together. You have come so far already; I know you can do it. I won't let anything happen to you. I haven't yet, have I?" He asked.

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