My Writing Guide

Best Friends Forever: Writing Close Friendships by everydaywriter

Nearly every book I've read has a protagonist. And all of those protagonists were surrounded by several, if not a great many, friends. Within my own stories, my protagonists have quite a few friends. Among those friends, there are usually one or two, maybe three, friends that the protagonist is especially close to. One of my all time favorite series, Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead, follows best friends Lissa and Rose, who act like sisters most of the time. While reading, it's clear that the two have known each other for a long while, see each other as their closest allies, and see their lives as them against the world. It's obvious that they're very close. The question is how does Mead accomplish this? How does any author establish these types of close friendships between characters without blatantly telling the reader?

If you think of your own close friendships, or your best friends, you'll probably recognize five or more of the following in your relationship with these particular friends –

Understand without speaking.

When you've known someone a really long time, or have spent so much time together, you get to know the person so well that you pick up on their habits and quirks and body language. When they bite their lip, you know it's not that they're confused, but that the water works are about to begin and it's time to get them out of there. If their jaw tenses, you take their hand and squeeze it to show they don't have to face the world alone. They do the same for you. You understand each other so well that no one needs to say anything, and it's obvious that it's time for coffee and chick flicks, or that it's time to head to the soccer field to kick around a ball and de-stress. You might not be able to read each others' minds, but you understand each other well enough that neither of you needs to say anything. You just do.

Tease each other.

There's artificial teasing, there's bully teasing, there's flirting teasing. But among friends, it's the way we gently point out each others' issues and faults without being cruel, it's how we remind each other of good times, it's how we show each other that we don't have to be adult or grown up (regardless of age), it's how we connect and communicate. Between best friends, teasing is just another way we talk to each other. There's no malice, jealousy, anger, or bitterness behind it. It's often light, fun, laughable, and in good humor. It's a way to make your friend laugh when they're on the verge of tears. It's the way we build each other up when our plans fall through. Teasing is always there, but it never, ever becomes a way of putting each other down.

Rely on each other.

Through good times and bad, friends can always be relied upon to be there and help each other. There are no excuses, there is no distance, there are no events that could prevent two best buds from helping each other out in times of emotional and physical need, and friends rely on each other for that. But friends also rely on each other for comfort, for support, for encouragement, and for all the things it seems the world wants to take away from us. Friends are there to remind us that what we want to do, where we want to go, is completely possible and achievable.

Seek each other's advice.

Perhaps more than our parents, teachers, advisors, and mentors, we seek advice from our friends first. This might be a perfectly faulty action, but because friends understand each other and rely on each other, it's natural that we seek advice from those we know, and who know us, best. This advice seeking might be as simple as wondering which outfit to wear for an interview, to legitimately questioning your life's direction and wanting to know whether you should keep on that path. And because you can rely on your friend, they help you out, if only to making fun of something to help you laugh and remind you to loosen up and stop worrying.