I Remember

Breast Milk

After my mom left we had a hard life. We were left at my grandmother's house I didn't really knew that side of the family too well, I was always either with Cuca or with my mom. I never wanted to spend any time at grandma's. As a matter of fact, I have no memories of ever been at my grandmother's house prior to this time. My sister, however, loved it over in Concepción, she and my aunt Yira shared a bond. See Natividad and Zoraida were pregnant at the same time. Grandma with her last child and my mother with her first. My great granny Paulina lived in quarters, back then people rented rooms that families would turn into little apartments and live there where rent was cheap. This was before she bought the little house in San Joaquin. The little neighborhood was call El Marañon. My mother grew up there. Well grandma had my aunt Yira October 14, 1974 and my mother gave birth September 28th 1974 to my sister Mirtha. My mother got stabbed by a mentally ill guy who was coached to have killed the first woman who walked out of the quarter. Well my mother was washing her cloth diapers so she was about to hang them in the line when out of no where he stabbed her in her gall bladder. Mind you she just had a baby. So while she was in the hospital, Natividad took care of two babies, her own and her grandbaby Mirtha. She would put them both in her breasts side by side and breast feed them, they shared a crib and everything while Zoraida got well and Paulina took care of her. Paulina got the guy killed I believed. She was well repected in that neighborhood. Turns out the guy who did it was retarded and was Paulina's do boy, he hung out at her house daily, she fed him and cared for him, He didn't do drugs but the fellow who gave him the drugs directed and coached him to do harm to Paulina. It turned out to be my own father, Enrique, he hated Paulina, he was a womanizer and he sold drugs making him a no good for her princess Zoraida. She gave him hell after she found out my mother was pregnant by him. They said she would throw urine at him from her top quarter's balcony every time she saw him. They also said that Paulina casted a spell on him to leave town for good after she found out my mother was pregnant again with baby number two. AKA Me. I dont know how true it was but I didn't see my father until I was 15 years old. October 1989.
At any rate, I was raised by Cuca and my mom in San Joaquin, while my sister and Yira bonded as sister at an early age. My sister stay with us but would always go spend time with Yira in Concepción. I hated it there.
My mom and Cuca fell out behind the house issue. So after we moved in with grandma I wasn't allowed to see Cuca. I MISSED HER MISERABLY. I wasn't used to my uncles and aunties and them or even Leo. I was afraid of him. The only man I was around had been my neighbor Santo. I overly love him until this day, as I write this part I'm smiling just as the memories flood my mind. I love love love Santo. He live next door. About 6 feet tall 200 lbs of pure solid muscles. Brown wavy hair with heavy mustache, loud voice and strong as a bear, my "papa Santo" as I used to call him. My sister was rarely there so I would wake up early, open the door and lay between Santo and his wife Nereida. We lived in duplexes so only a wall separated us. I ate breakfast over there, lunch and supper if they let me. My nickname was Coco. If I didn't go he would call me. The weekends were my favorites, thats when I would leave my bed and go crawled in his bed. I didnt have a father figure so he was it. Oh how i loved him.