I Remember

Medicine Woman

My grandmother should've been a doctor, She always had a remedy for every ailment, and they all worked. She wasn't afraid of blood or any infections, she dealt with them hands on.
I remember been sick with every plague that came around. Our house wasn't the cleanest house either, I'm sure that contributed to part of our ailments. Every month grandma would buy and collect items and herbs to make us a purgative. It was an herbal potion that cured everything, from worms to acne. It was what they now call a detox. She would grate coconut and use its milk to boil this potion. She said u have to leave the coconut milk outside and let the night mist cool it off. So it would stay outside overnight well covered of course. Next morning, we would be rudely awakened at 4am and given this nastiness on an empty stomach. It was made with the coconut milk, zen, and cascara. A ticking bomb. We supposed to use the bathroom three times before we could eat anything. Sometimes she wouldn't have all her ingredients so we would take a spoonful of castor oil, or a spoonful of Epsom salt to 3oz of water,  when there was nothing else the good old Phillips milk of Magnesium would do. The point is We got PURGED.
It was imperative to do so, she claimed our blood was impure and it had to be cleaned up monthly. It did rid us of skin infections and things like that. One time I kept on getting warts on my fingers and after my purge it disappeared like magic. Another time I started getting risings everywhere on my body, and immediately after a Zen purging it was over so it will clean me up.
Speaking of risings, as I was saying earlier, I had started getting them everywhere. I had one on my knee, one on my armpit and one on my butt cheek, at different times Thank God! I hadn't told my grandma about them because she is ruthless, she is a hands on kind of doctor.
I was passing by her and she hit my butt hard and it started bleeding and I was in so much pain I cried. She asked what was wrong and i had to tell her what the matter was. Well she told me to go to the shower and she would meet me there. She grabbed a chair and I got in. I bathed and then she got ready for surgery sort of speak. Boy look at here.... She placed both of them manly hands on my butt cheek and squeeze the life out of me and it literally, at least at the hospital they numb it. Boy this was raw and unapologetic. I screamed bloody murder. She didn't stop until the head came out then squeeze some more until a ball of puss popped out like a monster pimple, it was horrible but I felt immediate relief. Blood followed the puss ball and then she wash it thoroughly and placed a cotton ball soaked in peroxide and some ointment and left it in there, then she put a big gauze with white tape and the healing began, a purgative followed, and I never had them again. My sister had them too on her arm pits. She went to the doctor though and they did her's properly, grandma said it had two heads and she wasn't fooling with it.
Another instance I recalled was, when my uncle Leonel developed a nasty skin rash, it kept crawling all over his side and it spread all on his back. It was nasty, pink and purple. Grandma said it was an acidic reaction because he drunk too many Pepsi Colas, I thought it was something else. She was the medicine woman so we didn't argued nor did we ever questioned her healing methods because they worked. She went to the pharmacy and bought salicylic alcohol they sell them in small bottles over the counter back home, she also bought some medicated soap. She came home boiled water and begin bathing her now adult son. She scrubbed his rash to the white meat then she dried it and "p o u r e d" salicylic Alcohol on the rash. All I heard was the scary movie scream. I knew he had died in that shower, she told him to hush and quit being a sissy, the nerve...She then dried it up and apply some antibiotic ointment on it and three days later it healed. A purgative also followed that procedure.
I witness her heal herself with different leaves and teas and potions. She often said that God left every herb out here for us because he knew all of us wasn't going to be educated doctors that some of us were going to be smarter and go back to herbs and things of nature for healing. She was right.
Her methods were rudimentary and Flintstone like but they guaranteed a cure. Grandma should've written a book about healing herbs and how to use them.
I witness so many things she used and procedures while growing up with her I'm glad I did because I too turn to herbs and home remedies to heal myself and kids now a days.
She took care of my uncle Ricardo until the day he died. On his last trip to prison he came out done with criminal activities. My uncle was delivered thank you God!!!!.  It seems that when you are delivered the devil show up with different dresses. He is crafty but God is stronger THAT'S for sure.  My uncle got a job with the waste management company; in Panama they don't have the fancy robots trash picker upper, they have man picking up trash and throwing it behind the monster truck that chews them and mashed them up. So two guys would jump off the truck and with gloves on pick up the buckets of trash or bags and empty them in the truck. That's what my uncle Rica did for a living.
As before mentioned he only had one eye, the bad one  was not sewn shut nor was the eyeball removed,  so it was just there in the open. One day while picking up trash some of the nasty juice entered his eye and he developed a nasty infection in it. It spread throughout the other eye and he ended up blind. They had to take both his eyes out behind this infection. In the midst of this disrepair, the waste management refused to pay for his medical bills and or assume responsibility for any wrong doing so they paid him for his time and released him. He went into a deep depression and went back to doing drugs, slept.with a crack addict and contracted AIDS. His immune system was already in disarray so he went into a full blown infection.
I was pregnant with my first child in 2001 when my aunt Cuca called and told me that he had AIDS, I was devastated, I cried for hours and hours I couldn't believe his luck. I loved my uncle he had a good heart.
He had gotten lost and grandma hadn't heard from him in weeks she decided to hunt for him. Again they found him in a small hut he had managed to made for himself with metal roofing he found with the help of the lady he was with and that's where they would sleep at. When grandma found him he had developed pneumonia and some other illnesses. She cleaned him up and took him to the hospital that's when they found out he had AIDS and proceeded to treat him for it. Before they took his second eye out they discovered he had brain tumors. They were located behind his good eye. He had two. They also found out they were cancerous but could only remove one the other one was too invasive so they had to leave it there. It started pushing the eyeball out so that's when his eye had to be removed. He had no eyes balls only sockets. Grandma took care of him day and night. They said she washed his eyes sockets everyday twice a day and clean them up with her bare hands. They oozed so she would made sure they stayed dry. Grandma and Leonel would tow him everywhere, Leonel would help with taking him to the bathroom etc. In his last days Leonel was even changing his diapers etc. Grandma would bathe him and brush his teeth and everything else he needed. Neither one of them use protective gear while caring for Rica. Grandma wouldn't dare make her son feel as if he was being frowned upon. Leonel didn't either. Love took precedence, love at last.
Rica did received a social security check not much but enough for him after he passed grandma was able to get it and his daughter too, he left behind two kids, the boy is grown and have spent most of his adult life in jail or detention.
AIDS and cancer got the best of Rica, he died April 2013. My mom was devastated she grew up around Rica this was the first time in my whole life I had ever seen my mother cry, she flew home for this funeral.
Two weeks after Ricardo's funeral Leonel died. The news killed us all a little. We all died with him specially grandma. Sudden death kills the soul of the love ones left behind. While Ricardo was in the hospital hooked up to a breathing machine Leonel's health started to deteriorate, they thought that he was acting up and wanted attention. They said that he was having painful headaches that he would scream bloody murder and that he had stop going to the basketball court, something he did daily. They said he had lost weight and had took leave from work, that he had accumulated time so he took off. The last time I spoke with him he said he was on vacation and that he had plenty of time and that whenever Ricardo pass that him and grandma was going to come over here on vacation, he had a plan.
Ricardo was dying on the third floor of the general hospital, my grandma NEVER left his side, she had to decide to unplug her son, so she did. She was at peace with it she did all she could for him, Ricardo was her heart beat.
At the same time Leonel had gotten so sick that he took himself to the hospital and they kept him, he was in the 1st floor same hospital. Grandma didn't know he did not wanted her to know, he knew she needed a break and couldn't take two sick son's, so against the doctors advice he left the hospital. He made himself functioned enough to be there for grandma through Ricardo's funeral. My mom was there and she said he looked ok except he had a lot of headaches to the point where he was sleeping a lot. My grandmother said he started losing control of his bowels and the headaches kept coming. They took him to a psychiatrist because they thought he was depressed because of his brother's death. Everyone was mad at him because they thought he was acting like a baby to get grandma's attention he was getting in the bed with grandma. No one understood why he was wetting the bed and screaming and crying the way he did. Leonel was dying and no one knew it. He didn't tell anybody, he seen his mom wait hand and knees on Ricardo, he didn't wanted to break her heart any further. I called home and spoke to him, he sounded ok, told me he had bad migraines. I asked him to be good for grandma because she had been through a lot. He told me he knew what he had now and knew how to take care of it but he was waiting for grandma to get passed the funeral and stuff so he could go and let the doctors fix him. Leonel's death certificate said viral meningitis brain infection. I think he had HIV too. He was born with cerebral meningitis it stays in your cells all your life, you can't ever rid  yourself from it. It can flare back up once your immune system is compromised. He put himself at risk twice in his life. Taking care or Ricardo and when he was doing drugs. He was never tested for it but I truly believe he had it. I could be wrong though.
My grandmother bury two sons in less than a month, no amount of remedy could.unbreak her heart.
Leo died December 2012 three months before his sons. Leo had left grandma's house two years before, he fell in love with a young woman and rented a room somewhere with her. Grandma was happy to rid herself from him, she thought stress and foolery was going  to be over with his exit. He still came by and stirred the house up. He had come by the house some days before and lately him and Mila fought and cursed each other out every time they seen each other but Mila said this time was different, Mila said that he came and was happy to see her gave her money and told her to make sure that my grandma get something to eat with that money. She.said he hugged her and told her he loved her and left. Little did they know that was his goodbye note. We always thought Leo would die last, we felt grandma was going to go first but God knows best. They said, that he was due to go to work one night,  he worked at the airport as a security man, he worked the graveyard shift. This particular night he told his girlfriend that he wasn't feeling well, he never went to a hospital he was a strong man all over and he too self medicated. The girlfriend called a cab and dropped him off to the ER. He went in they immediately saw him and told him he was having a heart attack. A massive one, he died around 5am, all alone.
A lady who worked at the hospital came to grandma's house after her shift was over she and the girlfriend knew each other and she send her to tell his family that he was dead. She knocked on grandma's door around 8am and Leonel opened the door ask her what she wanted, she immediately told him the sad news and Leonel and grandma went to ID the body. Grandma said his mouth was wide open as if he was screaming with agony. Grandma think he saw something horrible on his way out. I wouldn't doubt it Leo played with the unknown all his life. They probably came to get him, we will never know. Grandma went into a deep depression after this. She was ashamed and couldn't stop thinking that her kid's father and love of her life, husband of 50+ years died alone, like a dog with no one to hold his hand. Some say he took his kids with him, but I know God can only take and give you life.
Poor grandma her heart is so pure. After all he put her and the kids through she found forgiveness and pitty for him. That's what you call unconditional love. This was the beginning of a series of broken hearts she couldn't fix nor mend. My poor Medicine/Super Woman.