I Remember

Heart break #2

After getting my heart broken by my dad I got my heart broken again, this time by a guy. Alonso was the guy.
I spent all of my time with him, when he was at the university, I would be at his house waiting on him to get there. This girl was in love.
Alonso used to take me to school and pick me up, we hung around all the time. There wasn't a day I wasn't with him or in his presence.
All of my friends at school knew him. He was the guy with the cool car and the loud music. Most importantly, He was Belkis' boyfriend...
One good day on my 8th grade of school the worst happened.
I had a great friend whose name is Yanis. We bonded right away, I loved this girl, we were super tight. She had a friend named Otilia. She was rude and a bother, she hung with a lesbian girl who was toxic too. We spoke to them but weren't around them that much, or tried not to.
Alonso and I went to this neighborhood a few times were he had been hanging out at a lot, with one of our neighbors name Dito. It was close to our neighborhood, it was a bourgeois neighborhood. Everyone of the kids were conceited and spoiled rotten. The girls all spoke different, were slim, with long hair and nice expensive clothes and cars.
I liked most everyone I met, but there was this one girl... my spirit wouldn't sit still about. She was gorgeous. Dark skinned, neck length hair, big butt, super small waist line, nice bust, I mean she was perfect. Petite, her hair was always laid, she didn't have a lot of hair but she was a roller set addict. She was always put together. I hated her.
She was bourgeois. She didn't like us at school, we were invisible to her, she hung with the elite gang. I was a little jealous of her and she made it even harder to like because of her air of grandeur. I never liked her. But I had a cool boyfriend with a car so who cares right?. Wrong...
Otilia saw me one day at school after lunch walking to my last period. Her and lesbo seen me. She stopped me and asked me how was I doing, I said good and you etc. She killed the small talk and told me she couldn't believe Alonso and I had broken up!! I said we haven't. She said that's what he told her. Turns out Otilia and lesbo lived in that neighborhood also, they hung with the skate boys and was always around everybody.
Otilia told me that Alonso was coming over there every day, trying to date the girl I hated. She lived there too. Otilia said the girl wouldn't respond to him and that she told other people that she was tired of him trying to pursue her and he was absolutely not her type. I was thinking... good for your stupid cheating tail. I told Otilia the truth and she told me she was going to tell the girl. I was relieved at that statement. Lesbo kept laughing, like it was a laughing matter, I despised her. Otilia was really concerned, I could tell.
I couldn't concentrate to stay in school until my last period so I faked a sickness and ditched school. I cried all the way home. I got home and couldn't wait to see him. He was going to get it, yes sir!! I sat outside where we sat every afternoon. I told my best friend Mary about it. He went to college it was late when he came. Still I sat there. By this time I had told Dito, and Aldo another one of  his buddies, I was looking for answers. They had given him the heads up. I grew tired of waiting and went inside and got ready for bed. Our windows were made of cement blocks so I could hear his car motor coming through. I got up and waited for him to get in his house and quietly dialed his number. You really couldn't hide dialing on a rotary phone. I managed to do so. I told him I needed to talk to him ASAP.  He avoided me like the plague, he knew I knew. That was the saddest part. I died slowly.
Each day without him was like suicide. He was my all, my everything, my best friend, my lover, my first, my boyfriend... what was I to do without him, why her, why did I do wrong, was I not pretty enough?, I know what it was, I was poor I thought. I'm broke, I have nothing going on and I'm younger than him, he must've got tired of me. He used me and disposed of me within one and a half year. Those were my low self esteem having thoughts.
Shortly after that, my friend Mary was trying to console me. It was a daily thing for her. I was dying inside. It didn't help that he wasn't talking to me and I could see his car coming and going, I wouldn't go to sleep until I would hear his engine stop.  I would beg Mary to talk to him for me. She didn't wanted to. Finally I told her to tell him that he had until that Sunday to make up his mind about who he wanted to be with. I was giving him a chance to choose me(huge mistake by the way), Mary came back and told me that he said that he had nothing else to say to me, pretty much that it was over, that he didn't wanted me... I died. I cried for what it seemed like for ever. I wouldn't eat, or sleep. I would cry all night long. My only comfort was that the girl didn't like him. But she would accept the dinner invites and things he would buy for her. Otilia told me. She would ride in his car too. She found out he was a pay master and went along for the ride. I don't even know when or what happened but I started to breathe again one day. I missed him terribly though. I'd see him all the time but tried my best to deal with it. How do you not kiss someone's lips or hold someone's hand when that's all you ever did. How do you act like they are dead or invisible when they were part of your heart beat once before.
Love... Mankind's worst addiction!!!
Alonso broke my heart. Irreparably.