Revenge of the Undercover Nerd

Fifteen: Trust?!

Ethan POV

You know how sometimes when you wake up in a new place, everything is disoriented? You have no idea where you are? Well that's exactly how I felt.

There was a wall in front of me, to start. My bed was placed in the center of the room so I wouldn't kick the walls as I slept. I shot up, yanking the blankets aside, and everything slowly twisted into view. The room looked plain. Plain, white ceilings, plain, white walls and plain, white carpets.

Then it hit me. I'd been in here before. This was the place I found myself when I passed out here. And this was Ellie's house.

What happened?

I racked my brain, trying to remember the events that led me here. I remember watching all my "friends" horsing around, having a great time without me. Then I started to feel really lonely again, and I didn't know what to do. So I excused myself and ran to the bleachers.

Panic attack.

I had another one. Shit.

Suddenly, the door opened and Ellie walked in.

"Are you okay?" She asked, sincere worry and concern hidden in those brown eyes.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine."

"What happened?"

A taunting voice filled my head, as if triggered by her words.

Do you really think she cares? She's just being nice. Sooner or later she'll leave you.

She already has. What is there to lose?

Go on, nothing's stopping you. But she will break you, hurt you one day.

"I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. Well, I kind of just had a panic attack," it was like ripping off a Band-Aid. Painful for a split second, but once it's over you don't need to worry about it anymore. And that was it. I'd just need to tell her, and everything would be jolly and good afterwards.

Or so I thought.

Ellie wasn't handling it as well as I had hoped she would. Her eyes looked so big I was surprised they didn't fall out of their sockets.

"W-what?! Why?" Her hands were shaking and I felt a little guilty.

"I don't know. I was just...lonely I guess," It was so embarrassing. I shouldn't trust her. I've never trusted anyone before except for...her. I only knew Ellie for about 4 months!

"Why were you lonely? You're one of the most popular guys I know. Everyone in school is your friend. Your girlfriend is beautiful and loving...why?"

"B-because! Sooner or later everyone will leave me! My so-called 'girlfriend' is a fucking brat! My dad comes home with a different woman every night, and my mother left me! She left me with that man, who doesn't deserve to be called a father!" He yelled. I immediately thought of my father. I had no idea where he was, or what my fake-death had done to him, and I had no intention of finding out. But Ethan must've been feeling worse. "Even you left me."

I tried to object, but nothing came to mind. It was true. I has left him. "There has to be someone you trust," I said, ignoring his last statement.

He chuckled bitterly. "There was someone I trusted."

"Who?"

"Oh, no. Just a friend from awhile ago. But she left me too."

"Who was it, Ethan?"

"Her name was Elodie," I nearly jumped away from him. He was talking about me? "She was the only one I could trust. And then I repayed her by stabbing her in the back. I bullied her until she couldn't take it anymore. She--" he looked down. "She committed suicide."