Revenge of the Undercover Nerd

Twenty-one: I Hate You!?

I woke up feeling nothing but satisfaction and content. At first, I couldn't recognize where I was but then--

"Morning," Ethan's groggy voice was painted in sleep and I then realized that I was cuddled into the crook of his arm.

Blushing, I pushed myself up and chuckled. "Your breath smells like crap."

Ethan breathed into my face. I covered his mouth with my hand and looked away, but he just stuck his tongue out and licked and slobbered all over my innocent hand. "You're welcome," he laughed when I groaned and wiped my hand on his shirt.

Suddenly, the air was tense and I caught him looking at me. I swallowed, feeling every single hair on my body stand up as we both leant forward.

Closer and closer.

What did Cosmo tell me to do again? Look at his eyes, or his lips? I think it was lips...I didn't remember.

Gosh help me.

Rely on instinct...I had no instinct to rely on...my first kiss was Caleb and he's basically mouth-raped me.

Shut up, Brain. Caleb's awesome. Remember that.

Wait, where was I?

Right.

Ethan.

Kiss.

Oh my Lord hurry the hell up.

This was going to happen. It was going to fucking happen. Final-fucking-ly.

My eyes fluttered closed and I puckered my lips expectantly.

He kissed me.

On the fucking cheek.

I couldn't help but feel disappointed and ashamed and rejected and just a little angry at myself for lifting my hopes up so high. Not knowing how to react, my lips twitched into a tight smile and I stood up from the bed, leaving behind the warmth and electricity.

"I'm sorry." Ethan's eyes were dark and his fists clenched. "I just imagine you kissing him...and I swear I would cut his head off and shove it up his ass if you didn't care about him so much."

I crawled over him and chuckled at his words. "Caleb's head is too big for you to shove it up his ass."

Ethan let out a hearty laugh, but then frowned as he reached out to cup my face. "Why did you kiss him?"

"It was his last wish," I mumbled, hoping he'd catch on.

His eyebrows knitted. "What do you mean?"

My head snapped up. "You mean you don't know?"

"Don't know what?"

"He--Caleb's been sentenced to death," my voice surprisingly came out steady, but once the words left my lips, I had to hold back a choked sob. It was terrifyingly real to say it aloud, and all the realities I had managed to forget while being with Ethan came rushing back. I covered my face in shame.

Hesitantly, he reached out to pull my hands away and after much struggling on my part, he succeeded. My head hung as I looked anywhere but him. I didn't want him to see me look like blubbering blowfish.

His long fingers cupped my chin and raised it so I would be forced to look at him.

I found myself drowning in his dark eyes while he looked into my embarrassingly red ones. "Ethan," my voice was low.