Anger Management

7:43 PM

"Hello! Thank you for calling Target -"

"Yeah, yeah. Hello. Can you transfer the call to Chance, please?"

"Chance...yeah, I can do that. Ma'am, are you okay? You sound a bit tense-"

"Please just transfer the call. Like right now."

"Alright, ma'am. One second, please hold."

"Thank you."

"..."

"..."

"Donald? Is it you? Are you okay?"

"Hey, Chance. Just a small problem, nothing major. My arm...won't stop bleeding."

"Oh my fucking god, Farah. This is what you call a small problem? You can't call me and worry me like this by dropping this kind of crap on my back."

"Complain later, help me now. And listen, you're the only person I somewhat trust! Work with me here."

"Never trust an asshole, firstly. That's risky-"

"THIS ISN'T LIFE LESSON TIME. I cut, and I think I went too far this time. It usually stops bleeding quickly, and I just put a towel over it. But I'm still bleeding and there's a lot of blood, and...and...what do I do?"

"Have you ever thought of...oh, I don't know... GOING TO THE HOSPITAL?!"

"No! I can't go. I seriously can't, I have to worry about this on my own."

"... For fucks sake. Fine, where are you? Wherever you are, apply pressure and just go to the bathroom. Get another towel, a cleaner one, so you can see if you're still bleeding as much from when it first started to get all over the towel."

"I am in my bathroom. But I'm getting the new towel."

"Alright, good. How uh...how deep are the cuts? Really bad?"

"...I don't really know. I was a bit more... aggressive? I don't know, I can't explain it. I was really upset and needed to take the anger out. The towel doesn't have as much blood."

"This is good. That means it should stop. And alright, don't stress too much about it. I'm glad you called me and didn't just sit there freaking yourself out. I don't know how to stop this kind of thing, but the best thing would be to clean it, right? Put your arm underwater. Or damp the towel, or another towel, and put it on the cuts."

"Where? Where underwater?"

"Are you seriously asking me where? I don't know! Your sink, the tub. Anywhere with clean water." 

"Fine, I'll put it in the toilet. Haha-"

"...You say jokes at the worst possible time, Donald. Not fucking funny."

"Just trying to lighten the mood, sorry. It's what I do - shit! That burns!"

"Yeah, no shit."

"...Fuck, that feels so bad. What do I do after it stops bleeding? I don't do anything usually and just let the arm rest for a while if you get what I mean."

"Clean it. Then bandage that motherfucker."

"...Okay, got it. Thank you. It's already stopping. I just needed to stop panicking."

"Nice. Thank you for aging me ten years with this call."

"You're welcome, Chance. Ow! This hurts."

"..."

"OWWW."

"..."

"OWWWWWWWW!"

"What? What is it now?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to know if you would care if I was in pain."

"...Fuck you."

"Looks like you do care. In your own little mean way."

"Listen to me next time when I tell you to take care of yourself. This is not how you do it, dumbass. I have to get back to actually working now, though. So please, no more calls today with these stressful emergencies. Got it?"

"Yes, I got it. Thank you for helping me. You're turning out to be a great therapist."

"I don't think any actual therapist would want to help you. But thank you, I'm seriously trying my best with you. Thank you for calling Target, have a great rest of your day."