"Chance! OH. MY. GOD."
"What?"
"I have great news!"
"...Our child is found not guilty?"
"NO! She's 100% guilty. BUT...MY BOYFRIEND IS NINETEEN!"
"SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. Your boyfriend is really old!"
"I KNOW...HARVARD SENT ME A LETTER. OH MY GOD."
"HOLY CRAP. DID YOU OPEN IT?!"
"No! I'm terrified."
"Is it thin?"
"...Kinda??? BOBBY I'M SCARED."
"WE CAN WORK WITH THIS. SHUT THE HECK UP. WE'LL OPEN IT UP TOGETHER, OKAY?"
"But...I have to wait...three weeks. WHAT THE HELL BRO?"
"I WANT TO OPEN IT."
"IT'S MY LETTER."
"AND? I WANT TO OPEN IT. ME. CHANCE. BOBBY."
"You childish son of a bitch."
"You crazy asshole."
"HORSE."
"DONKEY."
"....FINE! You can open up the letter when you get here."
"SYVAYBAHBB. YESSSSSSS."
"Was that even english?"
"Inglés mi culo."
"What?"
"See?! This has been happening all day."
"What did you say?"
"English my ass."
"Oh...WHERE DO I SIGN?"
"Eres rara."
"Stop it!"
"I really can't...it just comes out."
"Make it fucking stop. I feel stupid."
"You're normally stupid."
"Not true! Just because our child doesn't have the smarts doesn't mean she got it from her mother!"
"Why is our child a 'she'?"
"Would you like a son?"
"When you say it like that, you make it sound like I can order a kid offline. But no. A daughter is fine."
"Her name is going to be Ana."
"Anna?"
"No. A-N-A."
"...What makes you think that I can produce?"
"...Can you?"
"Y-"
"YOU HAVE AIDS?! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME?"
"...Can you let me finish?"
"NOT IF YOU HAVE HERPES."
"Oh my god, Farah."
"I thought you were perfect, Bobby. Now, we can't have a child. We'll be childless. Because you have -"
"I DON'T HAVE HERPES!"
"...So what do you have?"
"Nothing! All I was going to say is yes. Jesus."
"So...you're herpe free?"
"Yes."
"And we can have children?"
"Yes."
"And we're naming our daughter Ana?"
"..."
"FORGET YOU. WE'RE NAMING OUR DAUGHTER ANA."
"...I never disagreed. Just thought about a girl looking like me."
"SHE'S GOING TO LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL AHHH."
"Calm down."
"NO. DO YOU KNOW HOW HYPE YOU SHOULD BE? PEOPLE WILL READ ABOUT US ONE DAY AND THINK WE ARE COUPLE GOALS. THEY WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE A MIXTURE OF DONALD AND BOBBY IN A GIRL'S BODY."
"...Creepy. Why are we talking about children right now anyway?"
"BECAUSE THE DAY WILL COME WHEN WE HAVE THEM and I will be a great mother."
"...You sure about that?"
"You don't believe in me?! I got this, bro. Watch me kill it."
"We'll see."
"THE BATTLE OF THE PARENTS."
"I'm going to kick your ass in it."
YOU ARE READING
Anger Management
Short Story❝Good morning. This is Target, how can I help you?❞ ❝Why do I have the sudden urge to kill my family?❞ ❝...Woah...well...shit. Ma'am, I think you dialed the wrong number.❞ ❝No. I dialed correctly. Are you any help?❞ ❝...No sé qué decir a esta chica...
