I Am Living With an Idiot

Forty Eight || Trust me J.H.

James's point of view

She just stared at me, like as if she heard me say that I murdered a man. I knew that this would happen, and this why I didn't say anything, this is why I kept it inside.

Perhaps I should have told her. Maybe then she wouldn't be so angry with me right now.

But it's not that easy.

I thought the whole situation would be better if I left it alone. This didn't concern her, but I suppose because she is my girlfriend, that may make it her concern.

I have a disaffection for the way she is staring at me so intensely. This whole situation, with us fighting so much and all has made a lot of tension.

I have to tell her before this gets too out of hand.

For all I know, it could be too late for that.

"James," she gains my attention. She looks so startled at my words, it's hard to explain the way she looks at me. I feel bad for not telling her anything, but it's not that easy.

"I'm sorry," I apologize. It was for a lot of things, really.

"Please just tell me," she pleads and crosses her hands in her lap.

I hope this won't change anything, god do I hope so. I hope to god that she will still with me, even if this shit is some risky business.

"I found my sister," I admit. She wasn't in a good place either.

Vena's face light's up, "That's great, James," she touches my arm.

"She's not in a good place, Vena," I lay the news on pretty thick.

She facial expression goes from happy to confused. "What do you mean by that?" she asks.

"You know what types of shit my parent's got into, right?" I ask and she nods, "Yes, well, she's taken over the 'business' while they've been in prison."

She sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, James," she says out of pity.

"Yeah, I've gotten in contact with her, she's not doing drugs, but she sure as hell is selling them," I tell her.

She sighs, "I would tell you that I know what you are going through, but that would clearly be a lie."

I smile down at her, I am quite surprised that she's not yelling at me for being such an asshole to him.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting towards you," she looks up at me with those perfect gray eyes of hers. "I've been stressed and it's hard for me to concentrate on other things, also, and I was an asshole," I tell her.

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow, "James, I know you are going through some stuff right now, but I can't just forgive you like that. Your words hurt." I knew that would be too easy.

I love her, more than she will ever know. It is my job to make her forgive me and I'll do whatever it takes.

~

~

She's angry at me, that is no secret. I need to make things better between us. I miss the way she used to touch me, but I can't blame her. This is all my fault.

At the moment, Vena is at her afternoon class and I would really like to do something with her. Maybe I should take her out tonight. I don't I think I have ever taken her on a date before. Maybe I should do that. I don't know, but I need to think of something quick.

I should just take her on that cliche type of date, dinner and a movie. I should do that. I call the restaurant and make reservations.

Finding something nice to wear could be another story. I'm sure I have something I my closet, but I need to get some new clothes.