Never be the same (Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier)

Chapter 16

"Do I fear the sleepless nights? You have no idea how long the dark lasts when you cannot close your eyes to it."

"What?" I noticed his form becoming stiff.

"Cindy? Who is-" Winter Soldier trapped his hand over my mouth before I could finish my sentence.

"No one," he said, looking at me angrily, "don't mention it again." He laid back down onto the bed, leaving me wondering what the dream meant.

Was it a memory? Who were those girls? Where were we going? Who was that man? What happened? I couldn't pinpoint the memory, but I wanted to.

"Who was she?" I tried again, looking at him.

His eyes were shut tight and his face was scrunched up in anger, "I told you to stop!"

His furious tone made me jump. So I decided that it would be better to stop asking questions for now. Was she someone close to him? To us? Is that why he didn't want to talk? Did something happen?

I tried falling asleep again but my mind just wouldn't shut off, so I spent my night looking out of the window.

The stars were out tonight. Just like in my dream, I thought to myself. I kept counting the stars and without any notice I started humming the little tune that had been playing in my dream. The Winter Soldier moved himself to lay on his side and I could feel his breath fanning the left side of my face. I could easily tell that he wasn't asleep, but I didn't let myself be bothered by it either. If he didn't want to give me answers, then so be it.

"Shhh," he whispered into my ear, "I'm sleeping."

"It could be a lullaby," He let out a sigh of defeat and I felt the corners of my lips move upwards slightly.

I wished the night could have lasted longer, I hadn't felt so in peace for ages. Nothing lasts forever though, right. Especially not the good things.

"Breakfast and training!" The guard shouted from the doorway.

I heard Winter Soldier groan quietly, it was pretty obvious that he didn't want to show his displeasure to the people we were working for but he didn't seem to mind showing it to me.

"Wait," I suddenly realised and he lifted his head up from the pillow to look at me, "training? We have training today?" I asked and placed my hand on my bandaged ribs.

"We'll be shooting today." he said as he casually stood up and went to eat.

After eating we were sent to the shooting range to begin our practise for today. Shooting wasn't actually too bad. I was actually surprisingly good with pistols and revolvers, but I definitely needed some training at firing shotguns and rifles.

"Here, you need to hold it more up, like that," Winter Soldier came to my side as I was struggling with my shotgun.

One shot. Complete miss. How can I be so bad at shooting with these and so good with handguns? Was I always like that? I doubt it. They did say that we were great fighters, so I couldn't have been that bad at shooting, could I?

Trying to keep my focus on the target was harder than yesterday as well, so it might have been that. Today I actually had something to think about. I had the dream. I had those girls, this night, this song, this man, this name, everything spinning in my head. It was hard to shake the dream that kept making it's way back into my mind every now and then.

I got pulled out of my thoughts by a pressure on my hips, I flinched under his touch and he pulled his hands away instantly.

"Sorry," I mumbled and his hands made their way slowly but surely back onto my hips.

"Stand like this," he said while positioning my hips the way they were supposed to be, "now lift the gun a bit and try again."

A gasp of surprise escaped my lips when the bullet hit the target, "See, not that hard. Keep practicing." He said as he started moving back towards his target.

"Soldier?" I asked hesitantly, I had never called him that before but it felt a lot better than calling him by his full name all the time.

He turned back towards me with his eyebrows raised, waiting for me to go on, "Please tell me, who is Cindy? I can't get this out of my mind."

As soon as I had got the words out I saw his expression harden, "I told you to not mention it again." he said under his breath, all of his playful exterior completely faded.

"Why won't you tell me?" I was struggling to keep my cool. God dammit I wanted to know. I had the right to know!

"Because it's none of your business!" his voice was raising without a doubt.

"Tell me!" I couldn't take this anymore, why was he treating me like a child. "If it's none of my business then why am I the one dreaming about it?" I totally blew the plan on keeping my cool.

"Dreaming about what?" I heard a man ask from behind me.

I could recognise this cocky voice from anywhere. It was the man that was there when Soldier and I were fighting as well, the same man who made Soldier angry.

"Nothing," I answered back more calmly, while turning to face him.

"What are you dreaming about, Miss Darkness?" I could hear the smugness in his voice.

"I said nothing." I kept clenching my fists at my sides and he seemed to take a quick notice of it.

"Have I upset you?" he took a few steps forwards, so he was now towering over me, "I think you're lying, Miss Darkness." he was smiling like a cheshire cat at this point, "and you know we don't tolerate liars here."