Never be the same (Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier)

Chapter 33

"I want to stop running away from everything. I want to find something to run toward." -Hannah Harrington

"Adriana!" huh?

"Please wake up Adriana!" he kept whispering but I felt so tired.

"Bucky?" I asked still not opening my eyes.

"Adriana! You're awake!" he spoke louder this time, "Yeah, it's me! It's Bucky!"

"My head hurts," I said as I slowly opened my eyes, only to be welcomed by a bright light.

I went to rub my eyes but it wasn't working. This time I tore my eyes wide open and looked around. Oh no, not again! My hands were chained to the wall. I looked over at Bucky and saw him sitting on the floor with his arm trapped in a vice. I could feel my breathing pick up. This could not be happening. Please not again.

"Bucky?" the fear behind my voice was evident, "Where are we Bucky?"

"Calm down," his voice was soothing, though his eyes were full of worry "I am not sure where we are but I promise, I won't let them hurt you."

There was something about his words that just made you want to believe him. I was trying to control my unsteady breathing but being chained up just reminded me so much of Hydra. But I knew I had to keep telling myself that this was not Hydra.

After thinking about what had happened I finally decided to ask, "How am I alive?"

Bucky's head snapped from the door to look at me again, "I don't know, I attacked him after he shot you and got shot myself."

"They were sleeping bullets!" I heard Wilson announce as he stepped inside with Rogers.

"Let us out of here!" I was struggling to behave myself, to not start pulling on the chains.

"We want to help!" Rogers spoke looking at me sympathetically, "There are people still after you, you know? And these people are not planning on taking you alive."

"That's smart. Good strategy." Buck finally spoke up.

"You'll be safe here. No one here wants to hurt you." Steve sighed.

"We can protect ourselves." I said, not feeling like shouting anymore.

"I know you can," Steve nodded towards me, "but you shouldn't have to. So many years of your life have been stolen from both of you, you don't need to keep running."

I looked down at that, not knowing how to answer. I knew everything he said was true, about our lives, about us running from our past. I was just having a hard time accepting it. I was paying for what I had done. I was paying for every life I had ever destroyed.

"How do we know we can trust you?" I asked after a little bit, completely aware of the fact that Bucky's full attention was on me at this point.

"You don't." Rogers looked at me, "Just as we don't know whether we can trust you but we are willing to give it a try. The question is, are you?"

"Well let's see then," Bucky looked at the men standing between us, "Unchain her!"

I had completely forgotten about the chains until Buck brought them up again. I wasn't sure what he wanted me to do when they opened them. I looked at Bucky for any kind of answer but his face remained emotionless. Although Rogers nodded at that and walked up to me.

He looked me in the eyes before he started unlocking the chains, "I want to trust you."

As soon as the chains came off I started rubbing my wrists to help the soreness pass. My breathing seemed unsteady again but I was not sure why. Rogers' was studying me, waiting for me to make my next move.

I looked at him for a moment before shaking my head and running towards Bucky. I fell down on my knees in front of him and reached up to caress his cheek which he instinctively leaned on to. He felt like medicine to me with the way he was always able to calm me down.

He gave me a faint smile before speaking, "I don't wanna run anymore, I'm so sick of running."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't trust those people but I wasn't gonna lose Bucky either. I ran my thumb over his cheekbone once more before focusing my attention on the vice and freeing him.

We finally stood up and I turned myself around to face Wilson and Rogers again. They were expecting an answer that I was not gonna give them. I looked at them, then at Bucky and then at the ground. The silence that followed was almost painful.

"So can we trust you? We just want to keep you two safe." Rogers was the one to speak first.

I could feel Bucky's eyes on me before he spoke, "Yeah but you'll never chain us up again."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Rogers scratched the back of his head but it was obvious that he was happy that we were willing to stay.

"Come on now," Wilson finally opened his mouth, "we'll show you to your rooms."

Rogers and Wilson started heading towards the door and for a moment I had a moment of doubt but seeing as Bucky followed them, I sighed and caught up with him. We kept a fair distance between us and them as we walked. The house was enormous and I finally noticed we were walking towards an elevator.

"God, this is a train wreck." I said under my breath just loudly enough for Bucky to hear.

"Our life is a fucking train wreck." he gave me a small smile and then turned his attention back at the people in front of us.