Chapter 30

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"They laid together. All night. His arms wrapped around her. A shield from the dangers of the night. She was haunted by her dreams. Memories brought back to life while she slept. He knew he couldn't fight her demons, but he could always be there when she woke up." -Jessica Michelle




February 2:

I came home to be welcomed by a really frustrated Bucky. When he noticed me, he quickly sighed and ran off in the direction of the living room, weirdo. I set the grocery bag down on the counter and made my way to the living room to see what Bucky seemed so mad about.


"What have you done?" I asked as soon as I stepped in.


Bucky quickly stood up and tried to hide the TV behind himself and managed on the most sheepish smile, like he had done nothing wrong. I placed my hand on my hip and gave him the most deadly look that I could manage. He knew that I had seen what he had done already, so his smile vanished and he stepped away from the now broken TV.


"What the hell happened? Why would you do that?" I asked sternly.


Bucky's hands made their way into his hair and he tugged at the ends lightly, "You weren't home, that's what happened." he mumbled.


"What do you mean? I went to get us food, you know that."


I took a step towards the TV, the whole thing was a mess. The glass was shattered and two buttons were lying next to the TV, he must've torn them off. Even the remote had been smashed into pieces.


"This TV does not like me," Bucky was pouting now, "It always works when you turn it on and when I do it refuses to work."


"So you smashed it?" I raised my eyebrows at the still pouting man next to me.


"I got a little mad," he said and I let out a forced laugh.


"Yeah, that's an understatement."


March 9:

Bucky had fallen asleep already like an hour ago and then there was I, struggling to find a perfect position to sleep in, so I just kept turning myself from one side to another.


After a few more sighs and turns, I could feel him stirring next to me. I quickly closed my eyes and laid as still as I could, with my back to him, like I hadn't just woken him. Gosh, why did he have to be such a light sleeper. I could hear him rubbing his hand up and down his face, before he stopped and wrapped the same arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him.


"Just get some sleep, please." he whispered to me before dozing off again.


May 5:

For the past few days all we've heard from every possible source is that Sokovia fell down from the sky and apparently Avengers are responsible for it. I don't know how I feel about the news. It doesn't really have anything to do with me after all, but still a lot of innocent people died because of it, which is horrible. But then again who am I to judge, I have done so many horrible things myself and I can never forgive myself for that. 


What I've done is unforgivable and as much as I wish to change my past, it's just not possible. I am an assassin, this is who I was designed to be, not that this is what I want to be known as, but who am I kidding, I am known as a monster. I don't know how to fix myself, I don't know how to fix anything. I'm trying though and for now that's all I can possibly do.


June 14:

I woke up crying. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't believe it. I pinched my arm to make sure I was truly awake, which I was. The hot tears that came streaming down my face didn't seem to stop any time soon. I wasn't even sure why I was crying, why on earth did that make me so emotional.


Bucky's hand tightened around my waist as he woke. His eyes were trying to adjust to the dark room that surrounded us, while at the same time he was trying to figure out what had happened to me.


"Are you crying?" his voice was laced with sleep as he tried to make me turn towards him, "Wait, why are you crying? What happened?"


I blocked my eyes with my hands as he turned me around. I wasn't paying attention to what was happening. I could hear him asking me why I was crying over and over, but it felt impossible to speak, to even open my mouth. I didn't know what to say.


"Darkness, please!" he begged while trying to tear my hands away from my face.


"No," I finally whispered back.


"What do you mean no? Please talk to me Darkness."


I finally dropped my hands and looked at him before speaking again, "No as in not Darkness," I still didn't trust my voice enough to not whisper, "My name is Adriana." 


~~~

Just wanted to let you know that the last chapter, this one and the next one are gonna be written in kind of a diary style, so you'll just be able to know about some things that happened throughout the year but it will go back to full chapters again soon. :)

Also huge thank you to everyone reading this story, I really appreciate you all! Hope you all have a fantastic day! x

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