Finding the Wolf Within

Chapter 4

By the time I got home, I didn’t know what to think. My mind was basically in a big jumble as I tried to reconcile the Eddie I knew from school to the one I just saw at the shelter. He didn’t offer any explanations or any excuses as to why he acts the way he does, and it made me even more curious. I found myself justifying the leniency I was willing to give him a couple of weeks ago since I now had more than tangible proof that he wasn’t really that bad of a guy. I spent the rest of the evening still in a daze as I conjured up the image of him chasing around the kids over and over again in my head. I don’t know why my opinion of him started to change this year or why we seem to keep getting thrown together, but I’m finding it harder and harder to resist him. At this point, I’m not even sure I want to.

The next few weeks passed by quickly. I don’t know if I was imagining it or not, but it seemed like Eddie was actually being nicer to me. Not outwardly of course since his demeanor didn’t change, but he no longer smirked at me as much and there was no more aggressive physical contact in gym or in the hallways between classes. I don’t really know what to make of it, but Matt and Lindy haven’t said anything, so maybe it’s not obvious or maybe I’m just blowing it out of proportion. I also don’t have anything to compare it to since after that first meeting at the shelter, I haven’t seen him there again.

I have however, had Tony asking me if I knew Eddie all this time and if I thought he was cute. I’ve tried to be politely vague in all of my answers because I’m not certain how much of it is getting gossiped back to Eddie. Knowing Tony, I’m pretty sure he’s twisting whatever I say in order to make it seem like I’m interested. I’m just hoping Eddie’s smart enough to realize that whatever he’s being told is an extremely exaggerated version of the truth. Tony is more like a bored housewife or a nosy grandma than he is a middle-aged, out-of-work plumber with a huge beer belly. He’s convinced that he’s an amazing matchmaker, which is both endearing and aggravating at the same time.

“So, what are you going to be for Halloween this year?”

“Myself. Why should I dress up as someone else on my birthday? It should be all about celebrating me, don’t you think?,” I joked to Matt and Lindy as we drove to school one day during the second week of October.

“That’s definitely true, Ceci. But don’t you want to join in on the holiday spirit just a bit this year?,” whined Lindy. 

“I’m pretty sure the ‘holiday spirit’ only comes out in December, Lind. Besides, it’s my Sweet Sixteen. I don’t want to spend it covered up in some costume. And I definitely want to join the two of you for a real run." 

“Yea – I can’t wait for that. You’re going to love it,” said Matt.

I had woken up feeling pretty good this morning and had thus dressed the part. The weather had just turned cool enough to break out the boots, so I was wearing a simple, long-sleeved blue dress with a wide black belt that showed off my small waist, black tights and my black knee-high boots. The blue made my eyes stand out even more, not that they really needed any help. I loved this weather, when the seasons changed from summer to fall. The air is crisp, the leaves begin to transform into a kaleidoscope of colors, and my birthday plus the four best holidays of the year fall within weeks of each other. My morning classes went by without a hitch despite having a test in Pre-Calc. All in all, the day was shaping up to be a good one.

“Why were we talking about costumes this morning when we should have been discussing our outfits for the dance?!?,” Lindy demanded as soon as I sat down at our lunch table.

“Ummm…I don’t know. You’re the one that asked about Halloween.” I have to admit that sometimes Lindy’s abrupt change of topics and attitudes hurts my head.

She just responded with a, “Hmph,” before turning to Leigh to ask her about potential dresses. I wasn’t really paying too much attention, since the dance was casual rather than a formal. They basically just decorated the gym with crepe paper and balloons and charged $10 for people to stand around and drink fruit punch. It was more for people to see and be seen than to dance, which is why I guess Lindy was asking Leigh’s opinion about what colors suited her skin tone. If she were to have asked me in private, I would have told her that it didn’t really matter since her mate wouldn’t be there and even if he were, he would love her no matter if her dress clashed with her skin. But that’s just me being pessimistic about school dances. I always ended up going because Lindy and Leigh (or “ElEl” to match my “Ceci”) would drag me with them. But in the end it was just silly since we only danced with each other.

“Ceci, what do you think?,” Leigh asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Do you think we should try and match our outfits, maybe have a theme or something since the dance is only a couple days before Halloween?”

“Oh. I dunno. I don’t want to look matchy-matchy or anything. I guess if we think of a cool theme, than maybe,” I replied.

“Ooooh…how about a sexy version of the Powerpuff Girls?!?” Lindy bounced up and down in her seat. She looked way too excited for me when she suggested that, especially when she continued with, “Too bad your eyes are blue instead of green, Ceci.”

“Huh?,” I asked, confused since I’ve never seen the show before. 

“It’s kind of perfect don’t you think? I’ve got the blonde hair and blue eyes, so I can be Bubbles. Leigh has auburn hair so she can be Blossom, or is that Buttercup? And you’ve got the black hair so you’ll be the other one.”

“Haha – thanks Lind for saying I’ve got auburn hair,” grinned Leigh, “And I think that it’s a pretty awesome idea. I don’t really remember which one’s which, since that show was on when we were, what, eight or nine, but we’ve definitely got the right hair colors.”

I was still confused at this point, but decided I would probably be better off in the end just letting the two of them plan it out. It always ended up like this anyway. They would plan the outfits and then just tell me what to wear since I didn’t care one way or the other. From what I can tell, at least the outfits will be normal dresses rather than stupid, revealing costumes.

Lunch ended with the three of us making plans to go shopping for dresses after school on Friday. The rest of the day went by quickly, and I even caught a Frisbee in the end zone to score for my team. I thought I saw a hint of a grin on Eddie’s face when he saw me make the play, but I may also just be seeing things again. I’m still not sure how I feel about him, about the fact that I know there’s someone really decent hiding underneath the mask of indifference and disdain. I almost feel sorry for him since it must be tiring trying to maintain such a façade. But then again, since I don’t really know him, maybe I’ve gotten him all wrong and am just projecting what I want to believe onto him. 

___________________________________

Many thanks for reading...comment/vote/fan if you like it!